Speechless

Beth doesn't defend herself or speak up when she needs to. I read about some people with Down Syndrome who are self-advocates and speak in front of large audiences and Beth is definitely not one of them.

Just now I had gone into the bathroom (she also doesn't close the door all the way when she's in there) and when I saw she was there, I excused myself and went out. 

I took a letter out to the mailbox, stood on the sidewalk and talked with a neighbor for a few minutes went back into the house and headed back to the bathroom to turn off the curling iron.

Beth was at the sink and that's when she tells me, "You turn the light off when I was in there."

"I did?"

"Yep" and she headed down the hall.

I instantly felt guilty but then I thought, 'Wait a second!' 

"Beth you should have yelled at me, "Mom! You turned the light off!" Or even yelled, "Hey!" Or something to get my attention."

Why wouldn't she have spoken up? Why would she just sit in the dark? I mean... gosh! Why...??

Sometimes her choice to not talk leaves me speechless. 

(A few years ago I wanted to take some pictures of her and had to practically beg her to let me take them. She sure didn't need to talk to express how she felt on this day!)

More Than Yep (A Detour From Road Trips For A Minute)

Beth has never been much of a conversationalist but often she wouldn't talk at all. In fact, for most of her life she'd cry when something didn't go right. Or when something didn't work the way she wanted it to. 

Or she got her feelings hurt.

Or someone cut in line in front of her.

Or someone got a bigger piece.

For 99% of the things in her life she would just stand there and cry. Or she'd put her head down, walk away and cry.

I've told her, our whole family has told her, "Beth you need to talk. What's wrong?" "Beth, use your words." 

We've tried encouraging her, "Beth, we can't help you if you don't talk to us." "Beth if you want some help, you have to ask. Use your words."

Finally, after years and years, I gave up. When something happened and she would start to cry, I'd look the other way. Or I'd walk away. 

Or I'd just stare at her. 

She knew what I was gonna say anyway.

Eventually she stopped crying but she still wouldn't use her words. Even if she just wanted to say Hi to someone, she'd walk up to them and just stand there. Often they wouldn't see her and they would talk to someone else or they'd walk away but she never said a word!

But lately...

I saw her the other day at church - I so wished I had taken a picture but I was talking with someone else and didn't want to be rude - but I heard some women laughing and I glanced over to see Beth standing there with 3 other women, she had her phone out and she was showing them pictures! I heard her tell them about our trip to Snoqualmie Falls the weekend before! And these women were all facing Beth, she was leading the conversation!

Then last night at the grocery store, she was paying for her groceries and I was helping the bagger (he has special needs) with some special food items and as I finished and looked up, I heard Beth say something that I couldn't quite make out but then the checker laughed and said, "Oh you're right, I'm so sorry!" and he handed her some cash back. Beth said thank you and we were on our way.

Before we headed to the parking lot I stopped and told her how proud I was of her for speaking up. I told her she talked and everything worked out great; that she didn't cry and she got what she needed. "That's excellent Beth!"

She smiled and said, "Yep."

What's It Like To Live With Someone With Down Syndrome?

Like most bloggers I'm sure, I've occasionally asked myself why I blog. Why am I telling you my story? I mean, we're really not that different, we've all experienced pain, we've all felt lonely at times and deep down we all want to be liked. So what sets me apart?

Well, of all my friends, of all the people at my church (1500 each Sunday) my family is the only one who has a child with Down Syndrome. I know people who have kids with Down Syndrome, but in my circle of friends that I see each week and hang out with, I'm the only one. So that's why I write. To share a glimpse into our lives, to open the door and invite others in to see what it's like to live with someone who has special needs.

We've raised 3 daughters, two typical developing and one with Down Syndrome. Over the years I've found myself noticing the different ways they interact with friends, the way they grow and learn. I used to think it would be gigantic things that would separate them, but 30 some years later I can tell you that it's the little things.

 
For example, the other day I was washing the dishes and wanted to clean the cutting board so I asked Beth (she was watching me work) to go into the laundry room and get the bleach and an old scrubber. She brought out the scrubber and then went back in but never came out. I could hear her making noise in there and I thought she was getting it but I hollered in to her, "It's the smaller bottle next to the laundry soap."

Still nothing.

Now, you're probably thinking, 'Maybe she doesn't know what bleach is,' but she's been with me so many times when I've bought it at the grocery store, I've explained to her what it does and I've even shown her how to use it. So I figured of course she'd find it in the laundry room, but she didn't.

In the mean time I'm standing there with the water running, trying not to just go in and get it myself.  It'd be so much faster...

Instead I told her to just bring out a bottle and I'll tell her if it's the right one. She held one up and yep, that was the bleach! "Good job Beth, thanks." I could tell she was proud of herself as she leaned against the counter to finish watching me work. 

Now, if that had been Sharaya or Diana, they would have continued to tell me what happened at work or whatever as they disappeared into the laundry room and our conversation would have continued on as they put the bleach on the counter.

But with Beth, so often our lives stop as everything becomes about reaching the objective, of her processing what's been asked of her and then trying to complete the task. The example I gave may seem like such a small thing, why even make a big deal about it? But for parents who have a child with special needs it's like this every day. Each thing can become a huge event, a monumental task that takes additional time and energy to complete. 

Even something as small as getting the bleach.

"Oh." And The Importance Of Speech

This is Beth's go to word lately. It doesn't matter what we're talking about or where we are, her response has been "Oh."

We were at the store last night and she had already said it about 10 times since we'd left the house so I started telling her about it. How she always says "Oh" now. It's not an excited "Oh!" or a contemplative "Oh." 

Just a monotone, unexpressive "Oh."

So we're walking around the grocery store and I said something to her, don't remember what it was and she automatically answered with "Oh." 

But then she burst out laughing! I pushed her a little, "See! You do say it a lot!" and we laughed some more.

We got to the cash register and I checked out first. Beth has done this many times by herself so I usually just step aside and just keep an eye on her to make sure everything goes okay. Well this time when Beth got to the register, one of the clerks, A, a friend of Diana's came up and asked me about a friend of theirs. A is hard-of-hearing so even though I was fully engaged with her, I was only a few feet away from Beth as she checked out.

As we were walking out of the store, Beth sadly held up her receipt and told me that she didn't get any cash back. I often tell her how much she can get out when she uses her debit card but I forgot this time and was busy with A. She didn't say, "Mom I'm getting out $20!" like her sisters would have. She didn't say anything. She just quietly checked out. She really needed to get cash out and was visibly sad about it so I ended up loaning her some money for today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish someone would have told me 20 years ago just how important speech would be today, when Beth was an adult and trying to get around in the world. Beth had speech therapy in school but she needed more. And it's not just about grammar and pronunciation either. There is so much more that surrounds speech, like confidence and boldness. There's the ability to look at people's faces when you're speaking. There's knowing the topic and direction of the conversation and Beth doesn't have any of those skills. 

I know part of that is our fault for speaking for her while she was growing up. People would get impatient waiting for her to talk so Chuck and I would do it for her. I didn't know we needed to wait 10 seconds so Beth could answer. That she needed that time to process what's been said, form an answer in her mind and then speak it out.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

I tend to compare Beth with Sharaya and Diana and we didn't have to teach them how to talk to others. I'm sure there was a time or two of "You need to look at me." Or, "Wait, wait. Take a deep breath and start again." And I know we did those same things with Beth but now I realize we should have done more.

We should have broken it down step by step: raising her chin, focusing her eyes, standing or sitting up straight. And we would have needed to do this over and over. And over. I just never thought about what her communication skills would be like in her 30's when she was trying to hold a conversation, how she communicated with her boyfriend or needed to get her moms attention in the grocery store.

Subtitles

We've been watching Born This Way on Tuesday nights and I can't help compare Beth to the actors on the show. I think the one thing I'm noticing most is the language.

I don't know if you've seen the show but when some of the actors are talking, there are subtitles at the bottom of the screen so you can fully understand what's being said. And now that we're coming to the end of season two, I realize how nice it would be if we could have some subtitles for Beth.

Chuck and I have wondered if some of the show is scripted or if the actors are all speaking their own words but we know Beth wouldn't know half the words they use. I wrote down some examples last night:

"They use explicit language."

"I'm feeling a vibe in this place."

I'm so anxious for you to hear it."

Another place I've noticed a difference in language is when I call DART to schedule or cancel rides for Beth. One of the things they say on their recording is, "We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes." She wouldn't be able to tell you what that sentence means.

 She had speech therapy up until she turned 18 and even though I begged them to continue it they said, "Sorry. You'll have to find someone yourself and pay for it out of pocket or see if your insurance will pay for it." Since Beth was still technically in school (students with special needs leave the school system here in WA at the age of 21) and we still had two more kids at home, we just never did it. I'm not blaming them, it's just that life was busy and sometimes things fall through the cracks and that was one of those things.

Beth's sentences are usually 4-6 words long. I think she would know the word 'anxious' but not 'vibe' and definitely not 'explicit'! I've wondered if it's because we don't use many complicated words here at home? And that could be because we've tried to use words Beth will understand. But maybe she'd understand more difficult words if we used them?

She will often talk too fast for us to understand her and her words are all smashed together. We have to be looking at her when she speaks.

She does know how to read and I'm so thankful for that. She can read a menu, read the signs at the grocery store... in fact while we were shopping for her Seahawks shirt I decided to stop leading her through the store and I casually got behind her while we looked for the dressing room. She headed off like she knew where she was going, except she didn't! After we got lost, she just stopped dead in her tracks and said, "I going the wrong way." Then she looked up and began reading all the signs that hung around the store. And sure enough, she found the one that read "Fitting Room" and headed in that direction.

I've tried to get her to read chapter books but she never showed any interest in those. But she does read a few times a week.

So, back to the show. There are so many similarities to Beth's life but their speech patterns are not one of them. It amazes me how well they speak and the complex words they use. Again, I don't know if they're coached or if they rehearse what they're going to say, but no matter what, it is such a great show and Chuck and I love watching it! We highly recommend it!

Now, can you tell me what aisle the subtitles are on? I'd like to pick up a few.

A Day That Should Go Down in History

One of the issues we've had with Beth is her lack of speech. She can talk, she just chooses not to. I expect it's because she knows people have a hard time understanding her. She's gotten better over the years but she still chooses when and where she'll talk.

We had her annual assessment last week and she barely spoke. Trevor asked so many questions about her health and her job and her boyfriend. She hardly said a word.

I got off work on Monday and took her to the doctor. The doctor asked her about Special Olympics and Nick and exercising and music. She looked at her knees for most of the appointment and maybe said 10 words the entire time.

Then we went to the grocery store. As soon as we got out of the car:

"I'm glad I have my hat! It's windy!"
"Imma have some hot tea when we get home."
"Imma take my own cart."
"I don't want apples. Dad like that kind."
"I have licorice and chocolate." (I made her put the chocolate back.)
"I'm not getting cookies. No way!"
"I don't know if I wanna get this. Maybe I wait."
And on and on and on.

I try to respond every time she says something but after more than an hour, I was drained! I will admit I have to look at her so I can read her lips and it makes having a conversation - while you're doing something else - so difficult.

We got to the register and she said she wanted me to go first. As I'm unloading my stuff, she's still talking and since I have to look at her I unload one thing then have to look at her and ask her to repeat what she just said. Unload a little, then ask her to repeat. Unload and ask. Again and again.

Oh my goodness, I was this close to telling her to stop talking! Beth, just... stop! Enough for a while! I didn't of course, but man, I never thought I'd see the day. 

More Different Than Alike

More Alike Than Different has been a rallying cry of some parents who have kids with special needs and I'm not against that statement. When it comes to hopes and dreams and a desire to be needed, that statement is very true. Everyone is alike in that area. But this post is about the things we can see.

This is about a mom who, for the last 10 years has watched her adult daughter try to function in this world, along side other adults who don't have special needs. Every day her differences stand out like a sore thumb. And it hurts.

Beth was in the kitchen this morning putting her breakfast dishes in the sink and she coughed. Just a little cough, more like clearing her throat really. But then she said, under her breath but definitely loud enough for anyone in the room to hear, "You okay? Say yea." Then she headed into the bathroom.

I was at work yesterday and got a text from her saying she had put her calendar on the prize table. On her bowling league they have a prize table where the bowlers can bring gifts or gently used items to give away as prizes when someone gets a Turkey (three strikes in a row.) I gently told her that no one will want her 2014 calendar and they'll just have to throw it away. "Oh."

When she comes upstairs and needs to ask us something, she'll stand in the hallway, partially hidden behind the wall. We'll ask her to come out to the living room and talk to us but she just wants to stay hidden. 

We're in the car, talking about a road trip we'd love to take, the route we'd take, places we'd see along the way and Beth will say something like, "Mine was chocolate." We all stop. Chocolate?? "What Beth?" "The cupcake at bowling." "Oh, your cupcake was chocolate?" "Yep!" Then we all sit there in silence for a few seconds. Sometimes we'll continue with her train of thought and ask her more questions about bowling and what happened that day, or we continue on with our original conversation. And I often feel guilty when we just continue on with ours cause I know she can't keep up mentally but it's hard to always be at her level.

I used to beat myself up over the fact that she only speaks in 4-5 word sentences. Why didn't I fight harder to keep her in speech classes after high school? Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? I tend to blame myself for the way she is.

But I'm realizing that she's that way because she has Down Syndrome. Ds causes the brain to function slower than normal. (Whatever normal is!) It's no ones fault. It just is. But it's hard to see how different she is. And it seems the differences become more extreme as she gets older. As a kid, she ran and played and jumped on the trampoline with the best of 'em. But as a 30 year old? Her speech, her thought process, her physical limitations just seem so far apart from her peers. The kids she grew up with are married, they're taking their own kids to the doctor, they're upgrading their phone plans. Beth just lives at a different level.

When it comes to the stuff we can see, Beth is absolutely more different than alike.

Blossoming

Lately people have been coming up to Chuck and I, telling us about their conversations with Beth. Some we know fairly well, others we barely know! But Beth is going around engaging people in conversation, connecting with them...

We have a small coffee shop at church and every Sunday Beth buys a drink. She usually just goes up, orders her drink and leaves. Recently the barista, P, asked her how bowling is going and if she ever got her bowling shoes. (P is also a co-worker who I had told about waiting 2 months for the shoes to come in...) Beth started telling her all about the shoes and even pulled out her phone to show her pictures! P had never seen Beth open up to her like that before!

Chuck and I are in a small group during the week and one of the other couples has attended our church for quite a while but we've never hung out together. Don't really know them very well. One night at our group J tells me that Beth came up to her and another lady on a Sunday morning and announced, "I'm back!!" The two ladies nervously looked at each other not really knowing what she was talking about and asked her what she meant. Beth told them that she had been sick and had missed the previous Sunday. Oh! They asked her how she was doing and she told them all about it!

We have another friend, C, who we know well, they've been to our house and we've been to theirs. Well, one day she decided to give Beth her phone number and told her that she could text her anytime. She hasn't regretted it... so far. :) She'll come tell me about some of the texts she gets, long, conversation type texts. Texts that I've never gotten from Beth! Mine are usually just a few words, but not with C! C gets full conversations about work and art class...

This has been so encouraging for us! Beth was like this growing up, talkative, friendly, and it's so good to see her coming back out of her shell!

If I Could Go Back and Do It Again... Language

Beth doesn't know how to hold a conversation.

I know that may sound strange to some, so let me explain.

Her main vocabulary consists of:
"Now what?" (If you're doing something when she walks in.)
"I knew it." (If you get something to eat or drink or clean up a spill...)
"I don't know." (Her answer to almost. every. question.)

She's gotten to the point where she states the obvious. If I get up to do dishes, she will ask, "Are you gonna do dishes?" If I'm putting on makeup, "Oh yea. Doin' your makeup."

I've noticed recently she doesn't know how to have a real, deep down, conversation. She will ask questions: "Are we going to church tonight?" "Can we go shopping today?"

And we ask her questions: "How was work tonight?" What did you do with the kids today?" And those are usually met with two or three word sentences.

Now, she is getting better and I think that's what caught my attention. She is trying to use more words and engage in conversation. I have to read her lips when she speaks or I can't understand her. And I'm always asking her to repeat it. Sometimes I give excuses like the dishwasher is running or I couldn't hear her over the radio. The other day she even told me, "I think your hearing is bad." I didn't know if I should tell her the truth, or be excited about the sentence she just said!"

And all this has me realizing that we never taught her how to have a conversation. I mean, our other girls just learned it by watching and doing I guess, but Beth just, for whatever reason hasn't learned that skill. I automatically think back to when she was growing up and try to pinpoint the moment we missed. Or the time in her life that we should have been doing it. At 7 or 8 years old? Or would she have needed to be older? And how should we have done it? Have mock conversations with her, trying to think of different scenerios? While we were out, we'd show her how to order from a menu, and then be patient as she said it herself; we'd look at her so the waitress would look at her instead of us, things like that. But basic, everyday conversation? We missed it completely.

She took speech and language classes all through school, were they inadequate? Or was it over her head? Is 'having a conversation' something they even teach in OT? Why didn't I think of this during all those IEP meetings?

And language is SO important in life! As you well know. Speech can be everything. We hope and pray our children learn the words and learn to say them. But if they don't know how to use those words in conversation, what good are they?

I'm not sure what the answer is. Not sure what we should have done differently. But if I could go back and do it again, I'd definitely make that a priority in her life.

If I Could Go Back and Do It Again

Can't believe it's been almost a week since I've posted. It seems as we get older, our lives are getting busier. That's not how it's supposed to happen, is it?

There was an article that went around a few months ago, written by an adult with Down Syndrome and one of the things he talked about was sitting at the kitchen table and being left out of the conversation because everyone was speaking so fast. He said that he knew he was being left out. He wanted the rest of us to know it too. Unfortunately I can't remember his name (my memory, ugh) but that article had a deep impact on me. I think about it almost daily.

One thing I've started doing as a result of reading that article is talking slower around Beth. I don't slow down so much to seem obnoxious but  just  enough  for  her  to  be  able  to  process  the  words  before  I  move  on  to  the  next  thing.

I don't think others notice when I'm doing it. I try not to be one of those people who talk really loud and up close to someone who is hard of hearing, I  just  slow  my  speech  slightly  and  I  can  see  her  processing  the  words  as  I  say  them.  She  doesn't  ask  me  to  repeat  things  as  often  and  I  find  myself  wishing  everyone  spoke  to  her  this  way.

It's  been  quite  an  adjustment  but  it's  been  amazing  to  watch  the  change  in  her.  She's  more  willing  to  talk  and  is  definitely  more  willing  to  listen.

If  I  could  go  back  about  10  years,  I  would  have  started  talking  to  Beth  like  this  right  about  the  time  she  graduated  from  high  school.  As  a  kid,  Beth  was  active  and  silly  and  as  busy  as  my  other  kids.  But  as  an  adult,  she  has  become  slower,  quieter,  and  more  calm.  Not  sure  that's  what  happens  to  all  adults  who  have  Down  Syndrome,  but  that's  what  happened  to  her.  Unfortunately,  I  didn't  slow  down.  I  kept  thinking  fast,  and  talking  fast.  And  I  would  get  frustrated  when  she  didn't  keep  up.  But  I'm  trying  to  change.  I'm  trying  to  slow  down  a  little.  Trying  to  keep  her  included  in  the  conversation.

Sometimes

Beth has been spending a lot of time with us lately. Usually, she's downstairs watching TV or writing or singing or doing all three at once. :) We would often go many hours without seeing her.

Lately though she's been hanging out upstairs. She'll eat breakfast at the kitchen table, then sit and talk with us. Asking questions, telling us about her plans for the day.

(For those that might not know, our house has a daylight basement and Beth's 'apartment' is down there. Her bedroom, living room and tiny kitchen [microwave, etc.])

Having Beth interacting with us so much has reminded me how severe her disability really is. Please bear with me as I share my heart. I can already feel the tears welling up and I haven't even written it yet.

Earlier today, I was getting ready to do the dishes and Beth came up to sit at the table. Well our conversation actually started hours earlier when she called me at work. "Mom? I don't understand." (I was thrilled that she had called me to tell me! Five years ago she would have hung her head, sat on the floor and cried!) So I tried to explain that she was to take her medicine, then set the timer for one hour before she could eat. I had written this on her note and she didn't understand my instructions. So I told her that if she wanted to, she could eat first, set the timer for an hour and then take her medicine.

She still didn't understand. I told her not to worry about it and that we would talk about it when I got home. So as I'm starting to do the dishes I asked her if she had taken her medicine yet. She said yes. Oh? I asked her if she had set the timer and she said no.

"I ate my breakfast."
 "Right after you took your medicine?"
"Yea."
"Beth, you're supposed to wait an hour. So you took your medicine first, then ate?"
"No."
"So you ate breakfast, waited a while, then took your medicine?"
"No."

Sigh.

This went on for 10 minutes. Maybe it was me. Maybe I just wasn't being clear enough. This conversation shouldn't have been this hard! Beth is smart enough to get this, why isn't she understanding?! I was reminded - again - how different she is from her sisters.

As I'm washing dishes and trying to hold back the tears she says,

"I took my medicine."

"I did the..." (Puts her hand on her temple to think, then pointed to the oven timer.)

"You set the timer?"

"I did the timer. I did my chores. Then I eat."

"Okay, so you did wait..."

"I stay in my pajamas."

"What? What does that have to do with your medicine?"

"I stay in my pajamas while I take my medicine."

Oh. Okaaay. By now I'm exhausted.

Her speech is so hard to understand. I have to look at her when she talks. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I have to be able to look at her when she talks. She interrupts with things that don't make sense. I guess they probably make sense to her, with the speed at which she thinks. But I don't think that way. It's draining. It makes me sad to know that we're living in two different worlds. I desperately want her to be normal in mine. Sometimes I think she almost is. But sometimes the differences are so vast I just sit and cry.

Sometimes I hate Down Syndrome.

Not True Anymore

Beth doesn't really talk, did I tell you that?

Well, I guess the best way to describe it is she doesn't often engage in conversation. She doesn't walk in the door and talk about her day. She will answer questions, the same questions that have become part of her routine.

On Tuesdays she's on a bowling league. She'll come in after it's over, put her score sheet and newsletter on the counter and go downstairs. We usually try to catch her, "Beth, did you have fun?"

"Mmhmm."

Looking at her scores for the day I see she bowled a personal best of 129!! Four spares and two strikes!! "Wow Beth, this is awesome! Congratul..." She's already downstairs with the door shut.



I wrote this post about 4-5 months ago and saved it as a draft. The only time I've ever saved a draft. I was going to title it Anderson Detective Agency. We had to constantly ask questions, inquire about everything and basically beg Beth to talk to us. She just didn't say much.

But that has all changed the last few months. Now, we can't get her to stop talking. :)

I'm not sure what made the difference but she started greeting at our church about 8 months ago. Every other Sunday morning she stands at one of the doors and shakes hands with everyone who comes in. She looks at them and says, "Welcome" or "Good morning." That's the only thing I can think of that would have helped bring her out of her shell.

Her job coach told us the other day (we had our annual meeting with the state) that Beth is interacting with her more and participating more in job class.

In fact, she's talking so much I gently told her the other day that it's okay to be quiet sometimes. We were in the car (it's hard to understand her unless I look at her and read her lips when she's talking) and I was having to ask her to repeat everything. We had gone out shopping (5 1/2 hours!) and I was drained. She had literally talked the. entire. time. I don't mean a few sentences here and there. I mean absolutely, non stop talking. I'm surprised she didn't get a sore throat.

We were standing in line at the bathroom and the handicap stall became available. As she was going into it she turned to me, "Mom it's big enough. You can come too."

At a shoe store, she sat down on a little bench to try on shoes and said, "Man I love shopping!"

Went went to get her hair cut and as the hairdresser was showing her to the chair, Beth said, "I like your music." Beth spoke to her first, that was huge! They continued to talk the whole time.

While we were sitting in the food court eating our Auntie Anne's Pretzels she told me about her bowling teammates; her volunteer position at the elementary school, then she jumped up from the table. "Beth where are you going?" She pointed to a table behind us. "My friends!" And she went over to their table and talked to them. Actually started the conversation with them. I was just stunned.

She's also learned to text. Oh my has she learned to text! So much so that we had to change our plans to 'unlimited' because I was going over my limit receiving and answering all her texts! Diana has unlimited but Chuck, Beth and I didn't text that much. Until now.

These changes have been such a breath of fresh air. Beth is spending so much time upstairs, eating breakfast with us, talking with us, engaging in life with us. I don't honestly know what's caused this change but we love it!! This has been one of the biggest changes and one of the highlights of 2012 for me.

I am excited to see what 2013 has in store!

31 For 21 - Constantly Progressing

Beth has been talking so much lately. For many years she's been quiet, not saying much. Not giving her opinion about things. Not engaging in conversation.

But lately she's been talking a lot. About her life, about her wants and her opinions. She's engaging us in conversation. She's spending more time upstairs instead of alone in her apartment downstairs.

I plan to write more about this another day, but that's what I've been noticing about Beth lately. She's talking a lot. And I like it.

31 For 21 - Makes Me Nervous

I guess I'm afraid to fail.

October is such a busy month for us and already I've missed two days. I guess I should at least try though. Even though we have two kids at home, they are grown. I only work 31 hours a week. Maybe I could do this. :)

On a very positive note, Beth talked to her DART driver this morning! This is a HUGE thing! When the driver asks how she's doing, Beth usually just answers with a grunt, "Fine."

Today, before she even stepped off the porch, I heard her said, "We're back from vacation."

I was shocked! I watched as they walked across the driveway to the bus. I couldn't hear but I saw Beth say something else to her, and the driver responded. Right before Beth stepped onto the bus she looked at the driver...

I'm sorry, did you get that?? She looked at the driver and said something else!

Oh my gosh! I ran into Diana's room, "Guess what just happened!!" This is very cool. :)

Hearing

Sharaya's at work and Allie is taking a nap so I thought it would be a good time to update the blog.

A few months ago I had Beth into the doctor for a physical. The doctor did a quick hearing test and it wasn't good. At first she (the nurse) did Beth's left ear. "Raise your hand every time you hear a sound." After a few seconds Beth started raising her hand.

Then the right ear. We sat there for a full minute when the nurse asked, "You really don't hear any of that?" I made an appointment for a hearing test. The doctor wants to see Beth again first to make sure it's not just a wax buildup. That appointment is next week.

Do any of you watch the show Switched at Birth? It's about two families that had their babies on the same day but the hospital sent them home with the other families child. Now, 17 years later the mistake is revealed and the two families are trying to cope with it all. One child, however developed a fever as a 3 year old and is deaf.

Sharaya and Diana both took American Sign Language in school and Diana even hung around the 'deafies' (as she calls them) for a while. Switched has a lot of deaf culture in it and has even referred to them as 'deafies'. We love how the show is made because when two or more people who are deaf are having a conversation, all sound stops. You don't hear the cars or the other people. They try to put you in their world, so to speak.

All of that to say, one of the main actors is deaf, but she does talk. And her speech.... reminds me a lot of Beth's speech. Sort of nasaly and doesn't pronounce every letter. (No disrespect intended, just trying my best to describe it.) Anyway, with watching Switched every week and hearing the nurses concern about Beth's hearing, I'm a little anxious to get this test done!