Waves

 There is a school bus that stops in front of our house and when I saw the parents waiting with their kids this morning, a wave of nostalgia washed over me.

I was taken back to the 80's and 90's when my kids were in school. Beth was the only one who regularly rode a school bus and she started riding when she was only two. She rode the bus until she was 21, when she aged out of the school district. 

In high school Sharaya rode a transit bus. The students got free passes and thankfully it stopped just two blocks from our house. The trees were much smaller then and I could see the bus stop - and her - from our bathroom window. I still remember watching her each morning.

In elementary school Diana and her friends would walk backward down the street waving at me until they couldn't see me anymore. I can still hear them laughing as eventually I could only see their arms waving in the air.

With my dad

Today I occasionally pick up my GRANDdaughter from middle school! Time is just going way too fast.

This and That

 I have such a long list of things to tell you about so I'll just get right to it.

 

A month or so ago Chuck saw his dermatologist for his regular 6 month check up and on the top of his head they found what they called, 'a rough spot.' Did I already tell you this? Well anyway, they said it was basil cell carcinoma. They did a scrape biopsy and found it to be benign, thank goodness! They got it all, it's no longer an issue so we just keep watching his scalp... and praying.

 

Sharaya started back to work today, finishing up at her old position before beginning her new job.  She worked at a middle school and found out in May I think, that due to budget cuts her job was being eliminated. She was able to secure a different job in the same district (so Ally can continue at the same school she was at last year) in their transportation department. She thrived at her old position, she was so good at her job and everyone loved her! I know she's going to excel at this new one too. Her solid work ethic, creative ideas and willingness to go above and beyond what's expected of her, it won't be long before people are loving her at the new job!

 

Diana, Peter and Adelaide are coming out here the end of this month and we are so excited! Adelaide is crawling already, she's just growing so fast! I don't think I ever shared pictures of our trip to Seaside Heights at the Jersey Shore back in June. We did a little shopping, got something to eat - we actually tried fried oreos, have you ever had one? Really good, but oooh, so sweet. One was plenty! It was warm out, but it was so pretty there.

 

 

There's more to tell you but it's time to go fix dinner. I hope you're all having a great summer. Even though it seems to be flying by!

 

Chock Full

We've had a very busy week. I kept meaning to post but by the time the days ended I was too tired!

 

Chuck and I went to a Mariner's Game. Diana and I took Poppy for a walk down by the waterfront. There were two doctor's appointments, and two salon appointments. Chuck and I went to a Business Meeting. We had new gutters put on the house. I took Ally to school one morning. And Xfinity did some work in our area so we had spotty internet for a few days. No wonder I didn't get on here this week!

 

Poppy loves to go to new places, she just hates riding in the car. We wonder if she gets motion sickness? Not sure, but she does okay as long as she can look out the front window!

 

 

Then we took her to the pet store so she could pick out some treats. I played with her out in the backyard, then came in and needed to go downstairs to talk to Beth. When I came out of Beth's apartment she was at the top of the stairs. I guess she wasn't finished playing!

 

 I took Beth to a salon for the first time. We've always just gone to Supercuts and they've been okay but now we're going to a real hair salon! Shampoo, scalp massage... We didn't know what we'd been missing!

 

 We're s-l-o-w-l-y updating the outside of our house. We put on a new roof a few years ago and got a color that would match the house, once we get it painted. Last week we got new gutters put on that will be the trim color of the house... once we get it painted. We met with a painter friend last week but he's so busy (we're not the only ones?!) he can't get to it until next Spring. So... the house doesn't look great. Yet! But we're getting there.

 

And I realize I haven't taken a picture of the house with the new gutters!

 

I took Ally to school the other day. Middle school. The few times I took her in grade school we'd sit in the car and talk until it was time to go inside. I told her we'd be early so we'd have to wait in the car and she said, "No. Everyone just waits outside." It was surreal watching her walk away from the car.

 

Preschool Graduation... and... now 😭

 

 Fall is definitely here! Trees are changing color, temps are dropping. I will admit, I'm starting to get excited about it all!

Hard Work, Perseverence and Blood, Sweat & Tears

Sharaya's spent the last few years as a single mom, working full time and getting her teaching degree. It hasn't been easy and she's taken breaks to go to Denver to help Chuck's sister recover from surgery, to San Diego when my dad died... but when she gets home she gets right back to it. Well, she sent us these pictures the other day:

Her diploma!! She got a Bachelor of Arts in Education Studies. And graduated Magna Cum Laude! What an accomplishment! She's worked hard and we're so proud of her!

I have school pictures around here somewhere but for now here's her Kindergarten picture:

Things Have Been Pretty Quiet

It hasn't been a very exciting week so far so there isn't a whole lot to write about. I decided to go through my phone and see what pictures I've taken.

Look at these 70's sleeves! Takes me right back to Jr. High

Work. 

Our maintenance guy is out for a few days and wouldn't you know it, everything breaks!

A toilet kept gurgling like it was continuously flushing. I looked at it and fiddled with a few things but nothing worked. We turned the water off and will just wait for him to get back.

One of our trees lost a massive branch and was blocking the driveway. I called one of the custodians to help me drag it over to a corner of the lot. (Actually he dragged it, I took hold of a branch and just looked like I was helping.)  😁

The elevator fire service light came on so it shut itself off. I put out an email to the staff then called Thyssenkrupp. Thankfully they were able to send a tech out that afternoon and he fixed it right away.

We had a power outage a couple weeks ago. Beth hates the dark so she came upstairs, we brought out the flashlights and hung out for a while. It was out all night so we ended up sleeping in the living room. We were SO thankful for that fireplace! I heard some people didn't get their power restored for days! 😟

Diana survived another Nor'easter. This was their second big snowstorm this season and she's had enough. All done with snow, now it's time to move on to spring! I wish they'd share a little with us. Seattle is ready for a good snowfall!

We're celebrating Chuck's birthday tonight (it's actually on the 6th) so I should close and go buy some cake. Or pie. He hasn't decided yet which one he wants. Sharaya and Ally are coming over. Maybe I'll get both.

Have you had a lot of snow this year?

Do you want a lot of snow?

Have you had a power outage? 

What was the longest time you went without power?

Her Bobin

 Beth was only 2 when she was born.

As far as she's concerned she's just always been there. 

Beth is standing on our coffee table! 

 

One day they were teasing each other about Bob the Tomato. From Veggie Tales. Calling each other every version they could think of: Bob, Bobby, Bobin... and it stuck.

Bobin.

Sharaya's had to endure some difficult things growing up with Beth. The school district would move the special ed department from school to school every year and I hated that. To move Beth and her friends around so they had to learn a different school layout every year, new bell schedules... just didn't make sense to me. 

Well for one year all 3 of our girls went to the same elementary school. It was just a few blocks from our house so I'd walk them to school in the morning and they would all walk home together in the afternoon. I guess one day a bunch of kids who lived down the street from us ended up throwing rocks at Beth and a few of the rocks hit Sharaya and Diana as well.

Another time Beth ended up under her desk at school and didn't want to come out. They couldn't get her to tell them what was wrong, she wouldn't move... so they got Sharaya out of her class and had her talk to Beth. I still don't know why a school would do that, instead of calling the parent.

But Sharaya just did it, just took care of Beth when it was needed. She never made a big deal out of it, she just did it. One time, Sharaya would have been about 4 years old, Beth was six - this was before cell phones so I had the video camera out and was recording them as they played in the front yard. The toy Beth was playing with broke and before I knew it Sharaya had put her toy down, went over to Beth, fixed her toy and went back to playing. I stood there just flabbergasted. This 4 year old... already looking out for her bigger sister. This is just the kind of person she is.

Well for more than 20 years they've called each other Bobin. When they see each other Sharaya will say, "Hi Bobin" and Beth will respond, "That's you."

Sharaya grew up, got married, and for a few years she dealt with her husbands addiction, now she's raising a daughter by herself... she's been through a lot and she and Beth don't have a lot in common anymore. Life can be really hard and the solution isn't always as easy as fixing a toy.

But as busy as Sharaya is, she still finds time for Beth. She'll take her to the theater, they sometimes go out to lunch, the movies. Sharaya still makes a point of including Beth. Of finding things that Beth likes to do and doing them with her.

Sharaya's a remarkable woman. The Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He gave her to us. He knew Beth would need a Bobin in her life and He gave us the best!

Flashback Friday

With school ending, I thought I would share some pictures of my girls... way back when.

Beth - 3rd Grade (I think)

Sharaya - Kindergarten

 

Diana - Kindergarten

I hope you all enjoy the start of your summer!

Inclusion vs Specialized Education

Most of Beth's adult life has been spent with other adults who have special needs.

She's part of a group called All Aboard and they offer classes and activities for adults with special needs. Art, karaoke, cooking, bowling league, parades, that's her social club. That's where she learns behavior and etiquette and conversation and friendship.

She doesn't have 'typical' friends.

There are women at church who have befriended Beth, who talk to her and give her hugs in the foyer. But most of them are my age or older. There are one or two who are close to her age who will talk to her and ask her about her day but they're married and have kids. 

She doesn't have typical friends who hang out with her, invite her to the movies, out to eat, dancing... there just isn't anyone. And there's no one her age that she could invite out. No one typical.

I remember struggling with this when she was growing up. She imitated the behavior of those she was around all the time. Which was her classmates. And they were students who also struggled with social interaction and developmental issues.

She's been secluded. I don't think it's been on purpose. We haven't gone out of our way to keep her separate, but I think I can also say we haven't gone out of our way to integrate her into typical circles either. She's very shy and pushing her into social situations would just terrify her. 

When she was growing up she was involved at our church with Missionettes, kids choir, all with typical kids.

Beth in Missionettes - June 1992 - 8 years old

 

Beth with her Missionettes class on the night of Crowning

(They've completed 6 years of badges and scripture memory and work books and it culminates in a night where they're treated like royalty!)

Beth is 4th from the left

 

But in Jr. High everything changed. They began talking about things that were beyond her comprehension; dating and driving... and mentally Beth was only about 8 so honestly, she just wasn't interested in any of it.

Since then, it's been specialized all the way. And I'm torn because she's so happy! She's very content with her life and she doesn't realize her friends aren't 'typical'. I know there are intense arguments out there for inclusion but I have a difficult time when they insist that is the only option.

I mean, I understand the positive affects of inclusion for everyone and I believe it should be offered or explored in every situation. But I also think there is a place for specialized education or social activities, as long as it's meeting a need for those who desire that. For those students who absolutely have a melt-down with the noise level or the amount of kids in the room. And sometimes I feel like those parents who place their kids in a specialized learning environment are looked down upon for not advocating for inclusion.

I've seen specialized classrooms give one-on-one attention to students who need it and thrive with it. They're able to focus on one person and connect with that person. Something that's almost impossible with 25 other kids in the room. I've seen specialized classrooms give students the time to process the work required and consequently succeed in doing that work.

I think it's just as detrimental to ignore the area of inclusion as it is to keep a student in a typical classroom for the sake of inclusion when a specialized environment would help them thrive.

We should try to provide every type of learning environment so every student, regardless of how fast they learn, can succeed at the task put before them. 

Our deepest desire may be for our kids who have special needs to go through their entire school career with their typical developing peers, but at what cost?

Subtitles

We've been watching Born This Way on Tuesday nights and I can't help compare Beth to the actors on the show. I think the one thing I'm noticing most is the language.

I don't know if you've seen the show but when some of the actors are talking, there are subtitles at the bottom of the screen so you can fully understand what's being said. And now that we're coming to the end of season two, I realize how nice it would be if we could have some subtitles for Beth.

Chuck and I have wondered if some of the show is scripted or if the actors are all speaking their own words but we know Beth wouldn't know half the words they use. I wrote down some examples last night:

"They use explicit language."

"I'm feeling a vibe in this place."

I'm so anxious for you to hear it."

Another place I've noticed a difference in language is when I call DART to schedule or cancel rides for Beth. One of the things they say on their recording is, "We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes." She wouldn't be able to tell you what that sentence means.

 She had speech therapy up until she turned 18 and even though I begged them to continue it they said, "Sorry. You'll have to find someone yourself and pay for it out of pocket or see if your insurance will pay for it." Since Beth was still technically in school (students with special needs leave the school system here in WA at the age of 21) and we still had two more kids at home, we just never did it. I'm not blaming them, it's just that life was busy and sometimes things fall through the cracks and that was one of those things.

Beth's sentences are usually 4-6 words long. I think she would know the word 'anxious' but not 'vibe' and definitely not 'explicit'! I've wondered if it's because we don't use many complicated words here at home? And that could be because we've tried to use words Beth will understand. But maybe she'd understand more difficult words if we used them?

She will often talk too fast for us to understand her and her words are all smashed together. We have to be looking at her when she speaks.

She does know how to read and I'm so thankful for that. She can read a menu, read the signs at the grocery store... in fact while we were shopping for her Seahawks shirt I decided to stop leading her through the store and I casually got behind her while we looked for the dressing room. She headed off like she knew where she was going, except she didn't! After we got lost, she just stopped dead in her tracks and said, "I going the wrong way." Then she looked up and began reading all the signs that hung around the store. And sure enough, she found the one that read "Fitting Room" and headed in that direction.

I've tried to get her to read chapter books but she never showed any interest in those. But she does read a few times a week.

So, back to the show. There are so many similarities to Beth's life but their speech patterns are not one of them. It amazes me how well they speak and the complex words they use. Again, I don't know if they're coached or if they rehearse what they're going to say, but no matter what, it is such a great show and Chuck and I love watching it! We highly recommend it!

Now, can you tell me what aisle the subtitles are on? I'd like to pick up a few.

You Are Cordially Invited...

Beth got an invitation the other day from the elementary school where she volunteers. It was for an event they were having to say thank you to all their volunteers

She goes there every Thursday and the first thing she does is go out to their mailbox and get the mail. Then she brings it into the front office, sorts it and puts it in all the teachers mail slots. Then she does what ever is needed in the office.

She files papers, sharpens pencils, makes copies on the copy machine and even helped out this year with their art show! She's been volunteering there now for 3-4 years and she loves it!

So today Chuck and I picked her up from All Aboard and as I walked in, guess who called my name and came running from across the room?! Nick is so personable and friendly! He talked to me the whole time we waited for Beth to get her things together. Told everyone that I was going to be his mother-in-law. :)

We got to the school and found some seats in the gym. They look fairly normal in this picture but the seats were no wider than my cell phone! The teeniest little seats I've ever seen! 

There was cake and cookies and punch. They had a raffle for all the balloons, plus the flower arrangements. And guess who won some flowers?

 

Some of the teachers told us how much they enjoy having Beth there and that she's such a huge help to them. The Principal came over and sat down with us for a while. She told us how much they love Beth and how she wants to find more work for her to do next year. Beth was beaming the whole time and said she really likes it there.

Outside the students had drawn hearts and written thank yous to the volunteers.

I'm so thankful the Principal is pushing for inclusion with Beth. She'll talk things over with her and then let Beth's job coach know what they decided rather than always going through the job coach; she engages Beth in activities around the school; she treats her like a person and not a diagnosis. I absolutely love this Principal! The students at this school are blessed to have her!