Questions about Beth's Boyfriend and The Hardest Thing About Caregiving

Hey everyone,

The conference at work went well. There were two main sessions, plus break out sessions during the day for the pastors, then one large event in the Sanctuary each evening where people from the congregation could attend. Friday nights event had over 1000 people. It was a glorious night of worship with David and Nicole Binion. They shared their new project The Revelation, and their new song The Letters just wrecked me.

To answer more of your questions - 

One reader asked about Beth's former boyfriend. He and Beth broke up a year or two after covid hit. Honestly, they weren't a good fit. He was very social, and she is very shy. He always talked about the two of them getting married and buying a house but Beth didn't want to do that. She came to me once in tears, "I don't wanna move out of our house!" But she'd never say anything to him about it. They're just very different people. And with covid they ended up not seeing each other for many months so they both decided to just end the relationship.

I sometimes wish she would find a guy that is more her type. Someone she could hang out with, go to dances, and someone to give her special gifts on her birthday and holidays. That is one thing her boyfriend was good at. He was always so thoughtful in the area of gift giving.

Mo asked, "What do you find most difficult about being Beth's full time caregiver?" The first thing that comes to mind is: the speed at which she lives. The word 'hurry' isn't in her vocabulary. She's just wired to do everything at a slower pace than the typical population. It takes her longer than normal to give a verbal response, to brush her teeth, to eat a meal, to get out of the car... The 'R' word is extremely offensive to most, but just like fire retardant slows down a fire, Down Syndrome slows down a person. Her slow speed sometimes makes me so frustrated.

One thing I've learned is to leave her notes. If she has someplace to be, I'll let her know when to wake up, what time to 'be upstairs and ready to walk out the door'. We've used that term for years. 'Be upstairs' doesn't mean she comes upstairs at that time, but that she's upstairs, has her hair done, has gone to the bathroom, has her jacket on, and is completely ready to go at that time. She does really well with these, they've helped a lot!

Another thing that makes caring for her difficult is her lack of communication. She can talk, she just chooses not to. When we're shopping she'll just walk away without saying anything. She won't tell us if she needs something or if she's hurting. It's a constant guessing game, "Beth are you okay?" "Beth is something wrong? Why are you crying?" Like the day I asked her if I could take some pictures of her. She said yes. Then we went outside and...

Every picture was like this. She never did tell me why she was upset. 

I can't help but wonder why she won't talk. I wish I knew. I have lots of theories. I'm trying to change the way I do some things. Adjusting here and there. Parenting is tough. You find yourself second-guessing every decision.

But one thing that is not hard about parenting Beth, is her ability to quickly forgive. That girl can be so mad at you and a few minutes later it's over. She doesn't hold a grudge. She never stays mad for long.  

It's been a journey that's for sure. She's a great lady and I'm thankful she's mine.

 

What We've Been Up To

August 31 was my moms birthday. It dawned on me recently that she's been gone for 19 years. Her birthday has been less significant as the years go by but for some reason this year I've been thinking about her a lot. It blew me away when I realized it's been nineteen years. I'm really missing her this year.

 

This was around 1978

 

 

Let's see, we've been to the dentist; did some grocery shopping; checked the mail; just basic day-to-day stuff ~

 

 Our church held it's annual water baptism service in the Puget Sound. I heard the water was 56 degrees! 😬 But we had 16 people get baptized! There's always a lot of people from the congregation that come out to cheer them on, it's such a joyous time!

 

 

Chuck, Beth and I went to see The Forge. Have you had a chance to see it yet? It's the story of a mom concerned about the path her young adult son is taking. It's about mentoring, and forgiveness and the power of prayer. It reminded me that every person has a story. It's really good. We all cried.

And, our church had a week of prayer and fasting. We had prayer meetings every morning and evening at 6AM and 6PM. We set up 100 chairs in the foyer and the very first morning they had to set up more. We ended up with 150-175 every single meeting! Morning and evening. That's never happened before. Usually it trickles off by the end of the week to just a handful of people but it didn't this time. (Chuck went to some of the mornings and all of the evenings. Beth and I didn't make it to any of the morning meetings. I knew I wouldn't make it the whole day if I did, so I just prayed at home.) This picture didn't capture everyone, there's more people to my right, a few more rows in the back, plus people in the stairwells to my left, it was so powerful!

 

Chuck and Beth both take meds that require food so it's difficult for them to fast food. Chuck suggested we have dinner at the kitchen table (we usually eat in the living room) while reading the prayer guide they gave us and praying over each item. Beth would read the prayer points out loud and then pray with us. (I'm glad I was able to sneak this picture. She was praying out loud when I took it.)

 

 I'm writing this on Labor Day. We slept in today, watched a movie, and just got to be lazy all day! I hope you had a relaxing day too.

 

Chocolate and Strawberries and Gels

Thank you Latane and Pamela for the suggestions about the birds nest. I took a broom and cleaned up everything the mom and dad had pulled onto the porch but a couple days later, they had pulled even more out from behind the wreath! Those nests are pretty complex structures.  

 

Beth and I went out for yogurt the other day. You get your own yogurt from their 6 or so flavors, (they change weekly) and add your own toppings, then pay by the weight. We both got chocolate yogurt with fresh strawberries on top! (I also added a few mini chocolate chips and she got mini marshmallows!) It was so good!

 

 

Then we needed to go to the drug store for a few random things: nail files, lined paper... and as we were walking through the stationary department she audibly gasped! They had the gel pens she'd been looking for for months. She took it off the shelf... and hugged it. 😊 Then she looked at me, "I don't know if I get two." When I told her she had enough money in her account, she grabbed it off the shelf so fast! One happy girl!

 As we were driving home she let out a big sigh, "I love shopping."

He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

 Easter. 

 

Resurrection Sunday.

 

Jesus died for our sins to reconcile us to God.

 

And rose again so we can have eternal life with God.

 

Thanking the Lord today for His amazing sacrifice.

 

Praying for a blessed Easter weekend for you and your family.

 

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

We went to Diana and Peter's for Easter. The food was so good! Peter's sister was visiting from New Jersey and she recorded them telling us Diana's pregnant!!! They hadn't told everyone in Peter's family so we couldn't tell anyone. But they went to New Jersey for Father's Day and I'm free to tell you the news!!

 

They really had it all planned out: After dinner we settled in for a game of Chronology, have you played it? I think I posted about it once before.

 

If these were my cards, the player on my right would read a card to me and I'd have to guess if it happened between 1949 or 1983, or before 1793... there were 6 of us and we had gone around the table a few times when Diana picks up a card and 'reads' "CWA originally from California becomes a grandfather again." Chuck picked up on it right away but I'm so focused on the initials CWA, that's not how the cards are written. I even asked, "They only give the initials?" I obviously didn't hear the rest of the clue! When Diana finally says, "We're due in December" that's when I lost it!!!

We all went out for lunch recently and they showed us a bunch of ultrasound pictures. As I'm looking through them I see printed in small red letters, IT'S A GIRL

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! We are so excited!!

And an Angel of the Lord Appeared to Them Saying, "Fear Not"

I'm just staring at the screen, not sure how to start this. Not that there's anything major going on, probably more the opposite.

I've been taking time in the evenings to watch Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate and really just try to enjoy this season. It sure is going by too fast! We finally got the tree decorated and I have about one-third of the Christmas cards done. We're getting there!

 

We all went out antiquing last week, walking through Snohomish, then having lunch at The Cathouse. It was very eclectic and so fun! The tables were shellacked with all sorts of things, and they even had a full drum set on the ceiling!

 

 

 The small town of Snohomish

 

 

We've had a lot of parties at work the last couple of weeks. our staff party was so fancy! Our office manager really went all out! She had a full charcuterie board (a full 6' table!) plus steak or salmon, brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes... even the decor was so cute. We had a raffle, and games, plus lots of worship. It's such a fun party and I look forward to it every year.

 

I don't know why this has suddenly moved to center align, and it won't let me change it! Ah, you gotta love technology.

We're having our first Christmas this Saturday. Diana and Peter are going to New Jersey for Christmas this year so we're exchanging gifts with them this weekend. Everyone will be here for gifts, then Peter is making lasagna and bread sticks, yum!

Then on the 25th, Sharaya and Ally will come over and the 5 of us will exchange gifts. We didn't want to wake up on Christmas morning with nothing really to do! If I don't get back on here in the next week, I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

 And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

 “Glory to God in the highest,
    and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

The Piece de Resistance

I've spent the last couple of days rearranging our den. Bought a new rug and new curtains. I'm going to put the old curtains in our room because they're really not all that old and they'll go great in there!

I have so many antiques and collectables but no place to put them. I imagine built-ins, big bookcases in our living room where I can display my moms old typewriter that she used in the 40s; my dads old reel to reel projector (that still works!) And my grandparents old slide projector, to name just a few of the things I have.

Something like this:

Or this. This one almost brings me to tears! Just think of the possibilities!

 

Anyway, back to our den. I had already emptied one of the bookcases when I remembered to take a picture. 😊 This is the before / during ~

And after:

And the piece de resistance... a chair for Ally ~

She's getting older and I've decided it's probably time to get rid of the toy box and start buying her things that are a little more her age. She and Sharaya came over today and she loved it! She was all curled up in a ball when I went in to ask if I could take her picture!

 Do you have a favorite place to curl up or stretch out?

Heaven on Earth

When we were heading to the airport a couple weeks ago I opened the front door and Ally was behind me, then Sharaya, Chuck, we had our luggage... and I whispered, "Stop! Stop! Stop!" 

One of the baby birds was perched precariously on the edge of the nest! I put down my suitcase and tried to get my phone to take a picture but he flew away. The other birds were hunkered deep down in the nest and I knew by the time I got back from Pennsylvania they'd all be gone.

And I was right. The nest was on the ground and there were leftover twigs and sticks hanging from the wreath. The Junko family has moved out. It sure was fun watching them grow!

Sharaya and Ally came over for dinner on Saturday. After we ate we played Uno, and then went out back to sit and talk and play some more.

 

Sunday we celebrated Pentecost. We had food trucks out in the parking lot for people to have lunch after church which meant me and my crew arrived at 7:30am to cone off the parking lot and set up the round tables and chairs. It was a very early start but it is one of my favorite Sundays of the whole year! We have many Internationals at our church and they each carry a flag from the country they were born in. One by one they walk through the Sanctuary and then they go up on the platform and say, "Vietnam exalts the name of the Lord!" "Nigeria exalts the name of the Lord!" But they say it in their native tongue. Nation after nation after nation, there isn't a dry eye in the place by the time it's over!

Waiting in the foyer for their cue to start

A friend of mine took this picture

People wear their national dress. The church is filled with so many nations, tribes and tongues. It truly is heaven on earth.