Today's my mom's birthday. She would have been 83 today. She passed away in 2005 but I still miss her so much.
Especially the last few months.
I just can't stop thinking about her.
Things she taught me.
I miss the sound of her voice. The way she walked. Her hands. She had such long, thin fingers and I still remember the way she would brush my hair when I was little.
I see life through her eyes now. I didn't understand why she always seemed to be in pain, how she was always tired. Now I know what she was talking about when she'd say, "You're not in your 50s."
Now I get it!
She was only 25 when I was born but I was her third and she had had 7 miscarriages by the time I came along.
I so wish I could take her out for coffee.
Oh, she loved her coffee!
I wish she could see Allie.
We could just sit out on the back patio and watch Allie play.
I remember being in my late teens/early 20s and wondering why in the world she would just sit at the dining room table and stare at the window. What a waste of time!
Now I find myself sitting at my dining room table looking out the window and just day dreaming.
Thinking about life. And my mom.
"Now I get it!"
One month before she died, Chuck and I had gone to San Diego and her and I went for a walk. We reminisced and laughed and I took a bunch of pictures of her. Not realizing they would be the last pictures ever.
But as much as I miss her and as much as I'd love to hear her voice again, I know where she is and I know I'll see her again some day! And what a reunion that will be!
Happy Birthday Mom!