Starting On a Healthier Road

I took Beth to a nutritionist on Monday. We checked in and she filled out the paperwork, then we waited to be called.

Claire (she looked like she was around 30) came out to get us and took us into a private room. She talked with Beth about why it's important to eat healthy, and asked her why she wants to lose weight. She spoke directly with Beth the whole time and Beth answered every question. 

When Beth went dairy free I typed up a list of things that she could eat. It's on her bulletin board and she's starting to make better choices when she shops. 

One thing Claire gave her was a list of what each food offered: protein, carbs, good fats, and how eating them together is better. Plus portion control, what to do if she's still hungry after she eats... things that sound better coming from someone other than your mom. 

We were in there for over an hour and Beth seemed to be pretty excited about it. On our way home we stopped at the grocery store for just a few things and one thing I grabbed was an apple. Beth asked me about the pears and when I pointed to them she said, "No, not that."

"Those are pears Beth. What were you thinking about?"

"They're like apples."

I pointed across the aisle and asked if she wanted a peach or nectarine? 

"Yes. A nectarine."

She had to use two hands to put the twist tie on, but she was excited about buying a nectarine! 

Tonight we did our weekly shopping. It was kind of weird, do you have a regular routine when you go grocery shopping? The Safeway we go to has two entrances and I had to put a letter into the blue mailbox that's on the other side of the parking lot, so we went in the other door, and started our shopping at the other end of the store. We started on the deli side instead of the produce, went down the aisles from the other direction, we saw the store from a whole new perspective! It was like we'd never been there before!

We loaded everything in the back of the car and after we got in she tells me, "I did not buy my licorice." (She usually buys two pounds every week.) "What?! Beth that's fantastic! That was a great choice!" And I gave her a high-five.

Here we are on the road to a healthier lifestyle!

Shopping Like A Kid vs An Adult

You ever have one of those nights where you wake up very early and you just lay in bed thinking about life? Happens to me fairly often but I had an interesting one a couple months ago. It was a Thursday morning. Grocery Shopping Day.

I was thinking about Beth and the choices she makes while shopping. I thought about how it all seemed to start when we bought her a refrigerator, and some kitchen cabinets and a microwave. And we gave her the authority to start buying her own food.

And I thought about all the times, the years I've spent trying to advise her on what foods to buy, what foods are healthy and which foods are not. All the times I've coached her, encouraged her, got angry at her, educated her. And how tired I was of doing it. And how tired she was of hearing it.

There comes a time in your adult child's life where you have to take your hands off and allow them to make choices. Whether they're good choices or bad choices. Even choices that are different from what you would make in that situation. At some point you have to step back, and let your adult kids be adults. As hard as it might be. 

And as I laid in bed early that morning, I believe the Lord dropped an idea into my mind. An idea that might help Beth make better choices.

When we're kids we want the cookies and cake and ice cream and sugar. And we beg mom and dad to buy it for us. But as adults we realize those aren't healthy and we need to limit how much we eat of that stuff. 

I realized I've been trying to force Beth to shop like an adult. 

And we can't force anyone to do anything. Oh we can advise and encourage and educate, but we can't force. Not in a healthy relationship anyway. And shopping was becoming stressful for both of us.

So I apologized to her. Said I was sorry for trying to force her to buy certain foods. And I told her she's the only one who can choose what she's going to buy.

And a few times since then, as we're walking into the store, I remind both of us that it's that time again where we need to decide if we're going to shop like a kid or an adult.

And you know what? She's slowly making changes. And our grocery shopping is becoming much more fun!

Scan Results

We got the results and we're thankful there's no tumor or mass of any kind. But they still don't know why her stomach is so hard.

We need to go in for another blood draw because the doctor wants to test her thyroid again.

The scan did show Beth has Steatotic liver disease meaning she has excess fat in her liver. The doctor checked her enzymes and so far her liver looks fine. She recommended Beth continue to eat a healthy diet and exercise when possible.

Chuck takes a gummy vitamin supplement and we started giving some to Beth. He gets three bottles at a time with 90 in  each and noticed they were going through them awfully fast. So last week he hid them. While we were both gone one day Beth went on the hunt and found them and took a bunch downstairs. She went through an entire bottle in a week! We think she's eating them like candy.  

Chuck and I buy small cheese snacks  - little rectangles of cheese to take in our lunches. Beth stopped buying cheese for herself because she's not supposed to eat it anymore but when I was in her room recently I saw 6 cheese wrappers on her floor. She takes our cheese and eats it anyway and just takes lactaid every time. Now I wonder how much the lactaid is affecting her.

So I've decided Beth won't be going to the grocery store anymore. I will do her shopping for her. When I asked her for her list last week she texted me:

'Oreo Double Stuf Gluten free'

'Fruit Snacks 22' (Meaning a box of 22 packages)

'Ice Cream / Cake'

'Lemonda Drink' (Lemonade)

She sent this to me on Friday night. I was still recovering from our Thanksgiving outreach and was spending the day in my recliner. She had come upstairs and went down the hallway. I could hear her mumbling, then she deliberately stomped past me and went back downstairs. Then she sent me this:

'i did sent my shopping list ready why you are not going to the store to get it' 'ice cream and fruit snack of gummy bears and lemonade and sausage too'

So I went down and talked with her. That's when I told her she won't be grocery shopping anymore. The list I had made of all the food she CAN eat was on the floor so I put it back on her bulletin board. I hope we can get this figured out so she CAN go grocery shopping again some day!

Doctors now realize that many people with Ds don't have the leptin hormone that tells them when they're full. And there's now a medication they can take that helps with that. I plan to talk to her doctor about that when we see her later this month.  

Thanksgiving and CT Scan

Our thanksgiving outreach was wonderful and even made our local news. You can see it here: Thanksgiving Dinner

We served more than 1200 guests and 500 volunteers. This was our 30th year and some of us were talking about how much it's changed over the years. When we started it we got a lot of first responders, and even doctors who work at our local hospital would come by on their lunch break. A lot of people who had to work and couldn't go home would come by to eat. Now, it's mainly immigrants, people who are new to the area or even to the country. Many don't speak English. We also had a lot from the deaf community. We have a small deaf ministry and they invited a lot of their friends. It was a blessing to serve so many.

All ready for the guests to arrive

Beth had her CT scan on Wednesday. We watched a few videos on what to expect and I wasn't sure who was more nervous, me or her! It's hard to describe the feeling you get when you're nervous for something that's happening to your child. I actually felt the knot in my stomach - and I wasn't even having the procedure! They got her on the table and I was able to hold her hand while they got her situated in the machine. Then the doctor and I left the room while they did the scans.

When they put the dye contrast in her arm she had to keep it raised while they did the next set of scans. The entire procedure took about 25 minutes.

After we helped her sit back up she took a deep breath and just sat there for a minute. Then she said she was ready to go, she stood up and we left. That was it. She did really good, she always does.

How was your Thanksgiving? (We're having our family Thanksgiving on Sunday.) 

Do you get nervous when someone you love is having a procedure?

Since We've Been Home

 Beth and I did a breathing treatment where you pour hot water into a pan and breathe in the steam. We've been so congested. It helped a little.

 

 

Then I noticed her cough had changed. I thought maybe it went from a wet cough to dry but I wasn't sure. So I took her to the walk-in clinic and they did a chest x-ray.

 

 Turns out she has bronchitis and pneumonia! So now she's on antibiotics and is slowly improving. She's yelling at her TV again and laughing at the videos on her phone so that's a good sign. She'll stay home from church tomorrow and have a few more days to rest and let the medicine work. Chuck and I still have bad coughs but usually only at night or when we exert ourselves. We're all going through cough drops like crazy.

 

We had a light dusting of snow a couple days ago and this weekend the temps are in the teens (like most of the nation it seems!) so we just stay inside, take our medicine and wash our hands a lot!  We're looking forward to feeling good again soon!

I'm Getting Weary, But I Don't Know What the Answer Is

I took Beth to the optometrist last week to get some new glasses. We went a few years ago but her prescription hadn't changed so she decided to keep her glasses. It still hasn't changed much but she was ready for some new ones. They're close to the same shape she has now, but they're a different color. She should get them in a few days.

 

 We left there and went straight to the dentist. Got two done in one day! The hygienist was very impressed with how her teeth looked and Beth told her that she brushes "in the morning and at night." Leah told her she was doing a great job. We love her, she always talks to Beth, not just to me. She remembers Beth's activities and her family members and talks in a way Beth understands. She's priceless!

 

 Writing is like therapy for me, so I want to talk a little about Beth's recent health issues. 

 

When we went to Iowa last month, we walked into the airport and got in line to use the kiosk to check in. I could tell Beth was starting to look lethargic and when I asked her how she was she doing she mumbled, "Okay." I grabbed her arm and tried to get Chuck's attention. He was in line at the kiosk while Beth and I waited in the back with a crowd of people. I could feel her getting weaker and hollered to him that Beth needed to sit down. I began to panic because the airport was doing construction and we were all crammed against these tall barriers. Thankfully Chuck's 6'3" height allowed him to see some chairs in a different area and he helped her to them while I got all the luggage. She was so pale. I began to fan her while Chuck went to find water. After about 10-15 minutes she was feeling better so I was able to get her to a bathroom. She couldn't tell me the last time she had had any water. She did okay through security but then started walking very slowly. Chuck found a wheel chair at a nearby gate so I pushed her and he pushed the luggage to our gate, then I took the wheelchair back to where he found it. I bought us all some bottled water and we waited for the flight.

 Using both hers and Chuck's walking sticks

 

 

By the time we got to O-Hare, she was feeling great! So... off the plane and making our way through the airport when she begins to slow down again. I mean, really slow. Barely moving. She said nothing hurt but she couldn't tell us why she was going so slow. We asked for a wheel chair and an employee pushed her to our gate. We learned that you can ask for a wheelchair when you first check in so we did that when we landed in St Louis.

 

 

 Since we've been home we had some blood work done and her thyroid levels were way off. Come to find out, she stopped taking her medication! She takes two medications and a few months ago, just quit taking them. She's always been so faithful about it. When I've asked her why she stopped she doesn't answer. She won't - or maybe she can't - tell me. She doesn't have the language to explain why.

Either way, I'm now monitoring her meds. Checking with her every day to make sure she takes them.

 

We're also taking measures to dramatically limit her dairy intake. She buys the same food every time she goes grocery shopping and most of it is sugar... and dairy. I've struggled with this because she's 38 years old. I don't monitor what my other daughters eat. They wouldn't be very happy if I did. So I've tried to let Beth make her own decisions - good or bad - for herself. But it's coming to a point where it's really beginning to affect her health. And she can't take care of herself in many areas so Diana... encouraged us to step up our game.

 

This week we found some healthy alternatives to her snacking and at the grocery store she showed me how she found a small package of m&ms (instead of the large family size) and a small licorice. I told her those were great choices and she was doing such a good job! And, those were the only junk food she had! That's huge!

 

Chuck and I have family members on both sides that are hoarders, and Beth is too. It's not like you see on those TV shows but it's bad enough. I'm trying to spend more time in her apartment (our daylight basement) helping her clean but I noticed today an area we cleaned a couple weeks ago is starting to fill again. And it's not that she's attached to any of it, she just won't throw anything away. Literally. Old shoes, empty kleenex boxes, grocery bags, old papers... she just tosses everything on the floor. And she's got a big trash can in the kitchen and one by her desk.

I don't know what the answer is. 

 

Do we put her in a group home? (I don't want to.) Do we hire someone who specializes in clearing out hoarders homes? Send her to a psychologist? Quit my job so I have more time to take care of her? 

Please pray with me that the Lord would show us what to do. That He would heal Beth, and  provide the answers we need and bring the resources to help us through this. Thank you!

Sister Memories, Dressed Up, and Huge Success

 The conference was a huge success, thank you for your prayers! The pastors all commented on the dinner Wednesday night and said they felt spoiled, which is exactly what we wanted. On Friday, the last day of the conference, one of the speakers felt led to pray for people who were drained and needed a fresh touch of the Lord. H-u-n-d-r-e-d-s of people came to the altar and he spent the next two and a half hours anointing those pastors and praying over each one. It was very emotional to watch!

 

Look at that homemade cookie!

 Not much else has been happening around here. Tomorrow, March 21st was my sister Kathy's birthday. She would have been 70, but died just a little over a year ago.

 

I surprised her at Disneyland. 

She had no idea I was coming and it's a moment I will never forget!

Hiking here in WA State. She had come up to visit one summer.

 

Visiting her and Ken in CO

Beth had last week off due to the conference and she was thrilled! She stayed home those two days and told me she sang, and danced, and "moved around." The weather was sunny and in the 60's on Saturday so we went out to the backyard and she helped me clean off the patio. We moved the furniture, scrubbed off the moss, and swept everything. It's so nice now, I just want to sit and stare at it!

 

Diana's been sending us regular updates on the family. She starts back to work (remotely) this week... today in fact! I guess she goes back into the office in a few months. 

 On her first road trip

 

At home on the east coast. All decked out for St. Patrick's Day!

 Sharaya and Ally are planning to visit them in a few weeks and I must say I'm a little jealous! But, everyone in our family is healthy and doing well so I am one happy mom!

Help, Heart, Heat

 Hi! It seems like I've been away from this computer for a long time. Things are busy and by the end of the day, I'm just too tired to write. But today is my day off - with no appointments or deadlines - so I'm taking time to post. It feels good to be 'talking' with all of you again.

 

A little over a month ago I met with our Executive team at work and told them I needed to step back from the Custodial Manager position. This position was added to my Admin duties (I accepted it) and I've been trying to do both for more than four years. Now that I understand the scope of the job I'm realizing it's not a good fit for me. I've never managed or supervised adults before and now I know I'm not really cut out for it. It has been the hardest thing I've ever done. 

 

The Executive team said yes to me remaining as Facilities Admin (been doing that position more than 10 years - on staff more than 20) so I'll keep working there. (I'm relieved! I had to prepare myself for the possibility of them going in a different direction. It was highly unlikely but still.) 

 

Yesterday I learned they hired a pastor to oversee the facility/custodians and he now needs to be ratified by the Board and approved by the Pastoral Staff. The job is his but this has to be done according to our bylaws. So, I'm hoping in the next month or two I will have more time at home, more time to take walks, read, make cards... I can literally feel the stress beginning to float away as the day gets closer!

 

 

While at work a few weeks ago I got a sharp pain in my chest, like someone was poking me with a sharp knife. My left arm was sore and I felt light headed. A couple of co-workers prayed for me and I began to feel better. (I love working in a church! 💖) 

 

The doctor did an EKG and found I have Right Bundle Branch Block. That's a blockage in the electrical current in my heart. I didn't know the heart had electrical currents! I don't think I've ever had an EKG before so they don't know how long it's been there. Possible causes are previous heart attack, heart disease... and since I have family history of heart disease, I go in next week for a full echocardiogram. 

 

I think I told you our furnace went out back in December. Our gas fireplace has been a God-send! We've gotten bids from three companies and finally today we decided on which one to use. There's a lot that goes into it, a lot more than I expected. But we'll sign the papers when Chuck gets home tonight (on-line of course) and hopefully soon we'll have a new furnace!

 

 

Beth and I spent a day shopping last week so I'll write about that next time. I hope you're all doing well. Sorry I haven't been writing or reading. I hope to get back to it soon! And now I'll leave you with a picture of Adelaide, a little over 6 weeks old ~

 

A 4AM Scare

 Early in the morning on October 6, I heard Beth coming up the stairs. I can usually hear her because she starts talking to herself as she makes her way down the hall to the bathroom. But last week I didn't hear her go down the hall so I got out of bed and found her laying prostrate on the stairs. 

 

"Beth!!" She was about 4-5 stairs from the top so I went down and put my hand on her back and she was so hot! She was sweating and unresponsive. She started to slide down the stairs so I stood behind her and she said, "My stomach hurts!" then passed out again. I yelled at Chuck and he brought a cold wash cloth. She was in and out for a few minutes but then came-to enough to where we could get her to the bathroom.

 

She had d.

 

She immediately felt better so we had her sleep in my recliner. I brought her crackers and water, and Chuck slept next to her in his recliner since he had to be up in less than an hour. I was able to go back to bed but I certainly didn't sleep well!

 

She had fallen asleep so I woke her up before I left for work, just to make sure she was still doing okay. Her color had come back and she wasn't hot anymore. I told her she needed to drink the water.

 

I came home after a couple hours to check on her (I'm thankful we only live 5 minutes from my job) and she had taken everything downstairs: the water, the crackers, and she was asleep in her own bed. 

 

I made an appointment on-line to see her doctor.

But got a call saying Beth needed to be seen that day at the walk-in clinic.

Got off work early only to be told the clinic was booked and no one could see her.

Went home and had a video conference with a different doctor.

Went back the next morning for a blood draw...

 

She had an in-person visit yesterday and the lab work showed her iron levels are low. They did an EKG (which was normal) but they want to do a more in depth evaluation. So I'll be scheduling her for a heart monitor as well as an echocardiogram. She's been fine ever since it happened though. Back to work, back to hanging out with her friends...

 

 She fell asleep while waiting for the doctor to come in

 

 Getting hooked up for the EKG

Saturday Snippets - Hiking, Chronology and a HUGE Blessing

Sharaya and Diana hiked up a mountain this week. They didn't mean to, at least not to go as far as they went. It was so foggy they missed the marker showing them the direction to the ridge so they ended up climbing an extra 2.5 miles before they realized they had gone too far! They were so sore by the time they got back to the car but the view was gorgeous!

 

 The girls bought Chuck a game for Christmas called Chronology. It lists different events in history and you have to guess the year, or at least between the years on the cards you already have. Have you ever played it? It's really fun!

 I missed Thankful Thursday but I do have a couple of things to be thankful for this week:

We are blessed!!

Saturday Snippets - One in Particular

Our Easter pictures

 

But our official Easter 2020 photo looks like this 😁

We put these together really fast. 

This will be an Easter we'll never forget!

 I caught Beth practicing her guitar earlier this week

 The cherry tree is blooming!

But the real snippet happened today

Chuck passed out this morning and I couldn't keep him conscious. He'd come to and then pass out again. When it happened the 3rd time I called 911. I couldn't see him when I got to the hospital and I was in the waiting room alone and Beth was at home alone so after a couple hours I decided it would be better if I came home. The nurse called and we talked about his cancer meds and dosages and she said he looks much better this evening then he did when he arrived! He's had a blood transfusion, a CT scan plus some other tests - white blood count is high... there's a few things they're still checking on so they're keeping him overnight. He's feeling better and we've been texting. I'm very relieved they're keeping him there. They have the medical expertise that I don't have! What a day!

Have you ever passed out?

Ever stayed overnight in the hospital?

Not A Single Pound

Friday, June 7

 

 Sunday, June 9

 Monday, June 10

 

 Friday, June 14

And after all this, I haven't lost one single pound! And I'm eating normally, nothing out of the ordinary. Well bummer.

We had a big Pentecost Sunday service last weekend where we had everyone who was born outside of the U.S. carry a flag representing their birth country. We have 60 nations represented at our church!

Our choir sang a song in Swahili.

Celebrating the Lord of the nations every Pentecost is one of my favorite Sundays of the year!

 

 I took Beth and Nick to the movies last week. They sure do love hanging out together!

 

Do you go to the movies very often? 

What's the last move you saw at the theater?