Planning on Big Changes for Beth

Hi,

I hope you're have a wonderful fall. Here in the Seattle area we have a lot of evergreen trees, but we also have a lot of deciduous trees and the colors are stunning!

Beth has had a busy few months and there may be some changes coming soon for her.

The dentist told her she has to cut back on the sugar, and she's listening to him! She's got a couple cavities and has to have a couple of fillings this month. Thankfully she's not buying as many sugary foods when she goes grocery shopping now. 

At work we crossed paths up on the third floor and I took her picture before she headed out to fill up a storage closet with paper towels.

Everyone dressed up at the bowling alley last week and she went as Annie. She was so excited! Next year I might be able to talk her into getting some black shoes, and a wig!

Everyone went up front and some of the leaders voted on their favorite costumes. This is just a few of all the people who were there. Beth didn't win but she had a good time. 

She knew she wouldn't be able to bowl in the dress so I came to help her change before they started bowling. (Our internet was out at work so many of us took the morning off. Because of that, I was able to go help!)

While I was there, I asked one of the volunteers about an adult family home where some of the bowlers live. I learned that she had moved her own daughter into one of these homes a couple years ago. A minute later she's introducing me to one of the caregivers and she gave me so much information about this living situation. 

They are smaller homes, they only accept women residents and all the caregivers are women. She even invited us to some of their activities. She introduced me to a few of the residents, who also bowl in the same league as Beth. And a couple of them have Down Syndrome. 

Plus, our family knows someone who works in this field and we've learned these homes have very high ratings and are some of the best homes out there, and the residents love them. So I've reached out to the owner, and to Beth's caseworker to begin the process. 

I truly believe it's time for Beth to move into 'a place of her own.'

Chuck and I aren't getting any younger, and Sharaya and Diana have been very supportive of the idea. Some days I have a knot in my stomach and I get emotional just thinking about it. And other days I know that I know this is the right decision.

Beth is willing to talk about it with me but says she doesn't want to move, which is very understandable. But she just doesn't listen to me anymore, like when I'm trying to show her a better way to brush her teeth, or asking her to hurry so we're not late, she just doesn't... listen. Like she doesn't care what I say. And then I get frustrated with her and she gets frustrated with me.

And I remind myself she's 42 and I certainly didn't want my mom telling me how to live my life at that age so having her move out will allow her to create new, better habits and she may listen more to a caregiver than to me. I recently heard a podcast on this subject and they said, "You aren't giving her away. You're opening new doors for her to gain independence."

I'm talking to her every day about 'her new place' and have shown her pictures of the house. I don't know how long the process will take (weeks? months?) but I'm now talking and planning with Beth to help her get comfortable with the idea.

I will keep you all posted about the progress. I appreciate your prayers as we begin this journey.