Friday, August 31, 2012

It Just Bothers Me

Beth and I spent some time in her room earlier this week cleaning out her closet. It's packed with clothes but she only wears a few things.

So we went through everything in her closet, putting most of it into bags for Goodwill. There were a few things that had so many holes (even though she still wore some of those!) we threw them away. She ended up with about 7 outfits, pants, skirts and tops that all matched. I hung them together, in matching sets and she was happy!

We cleaned out her dresser drawers and we found some brand new socks. She tends to wear the same set until there's so many holes she just can't stand to wear them anymore. We talked about the importance of wearing it once, then putting it in the dirty clothes hamper. She was so excited about all of this that she told Chuck and Diana that night. "Guess what mom and I did?"

But what I didn't realize was that all the clothes she really wears were in the wash. So all this week she's been wearing the same three outfits, none of them are the clothes hanging in her closet. Today she goes to her job class and she wore teal pants, a red and white shirt (that she's had since high school and is way to small for her) and a pink jacket. I thought about asking her to change, but she was completely ready, relaxed and waiting for her bus to arrive. I figured it wasn't the best time.

I don't know why this bothers me so much. I think because she already gets stared at; adults will stop and stare as she walks by; high schoolers point and laugh. Her outrageous outfits don't help. It sometimes brings tears to my eyes, "Beth don't you see that people are gonna laugh at you if you wear that?!?!?"

I'd never say that to her, but I want to. She just doesn't see it. Or, if she does, she doesn't let it bother her. It just bothers me.


ckbrylliant said...

I totally see your point and I feel for you in this situation. But...imagine world where we were all like Beth and we did not waste time and money on finding, purchasing, and picking out just 'the right' clothes. How much more time and money we would have for more important things like relationships and helping others.

As a society we 'say' that beauty comes from the inside but do we truly live by that philosophy or judge people by that philosophy?

I know it's hard, hang in there. If I saw her I would probably not even notice because I would be looking at her pretty smile!

Caz said...

I love that comment above. But do see what you mean. You want to protect her feelings from other peoples judgements. But if she isn't worried, if she's comfortable in the clothes she wears, then maybe she is protecting herself? Hope there's a way you and Beth can reach a place where you are both relaxed and comfortable waiting for the morning bus x

Becca said...

I love that first comment, too!! But I also see what you mean. Can you perhaps match up the things she wears all the time with a few new things that go with them, so she'll be able to grab those from her closet on the fly, too? ((hugs))

Kristin said...

I'm assuming she must be 'picky' when it comes to what she'll wear? How about only buying two colors of clothes, ever. Coordinating colors - blue and purple, yellow and white, whatever, and no crazy patterns or stripes - eliminate the ability to mismatch? Just a thought. The important part is that she's happy wearing what she chooses, right :)

Mom of 12 said...

Nate is the same way. Sometimes it's worth worrying about, sometimes not. I figure they need a little individuality.

Mary Beth said...

I have some of the same problems with my 21 year old daughter with ds. We are also in the process of bagging most of her clothes to give away. She is not into fashion, makeup, hairstyles or accessories. A couple of weeks ago someone thought she was closer in age to her 10 year old sister than her 18 year old sister, and that REALLY bothered me! I keep joking that she should go on TLC's "What Not to Wear" and get a new, cool wardrobe! Instead, we are getting rid of the old, somewhat immature clothes and buying new clothes and shoes. She actually had fun shopping for the first time (yay petite section at Kohl's...she loves the Chaps line of clothing...who knew?)

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. You just wrote my post. or one that I could have written anyway. Sarah and Beth are so much alike. Same exact story here. I sorta gave up on it with the exception of very special times and then I give her enough notice so she can cry it out and then she ends up wearing what I ask her to.