Yep, I'm gonna cheat again. Just too tired for a long post.
Allison Lucy.
She'll be 3 the first week in December.
I adore this girl!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
31 For 21 - Lessons We Learned
Lessons We Learned While Raising Beth
Explain Everything.
We didn't used to explain transitions to Beth. Looking back now I wonder how we could have missed this important issue. When I say transitions, I mean like vacations, moving, changing schools. I don't ever remember sitting down with her and explaining, in detail, what was going to happen. I think we just told her the same way we told Sharaya and Diana. We realized this when we took a vacation to the East Coast. The first 4 days Beth was just a bear. She wouldn't talk to us. She was angry. At one point we were walking around New York and she just sat down. On the sidewalk. She finally opened up to us and we realized she thought this was our new life now. That we had left everything back in Seattle and this was home. We hadn't told her it was only a vacation!! Now we tell her in advance, mark it on her calendar and we talk about it a lot. She's able to ask questions, express her fears. It makes her a part of the entire experience instead of just going along for the ride.
Puberty
Beth was 9 1/2 when we began to see physical changes, hair under her arms, etc. At 13 we bought her first bra and she started her period. A few months before Beth started her period, she would itch... down there. And so she would scratch. (It wasn't until Sharaya was going through this that we realized it was a sign of things to come.) I had been praying for some time about this day. I was so afraid that it would happen while Beth was at school. But, thankfully it happened on a quiet Saturday morning. She got up to go to the bathroom and yelled, "Mom!!" I knew instantly. :) I showed her how to put on a pad and talked to her about being a young woman now. I monitored her throughout the day, making sure she was changing it regularly. The next day she went to the bathroom and called me again. She showed me the spot on her pad and said, "Not again!" Maybe I didn't explain the whole '35 years of this' quite well enough. Now all I have to do is ask her if there's enough in the cupboard. If not, she writes it on the grocery list.
Style
It was hard to find shoes and clothes that fit Beth and reflected her age. At 14 she was 5'9" and weighed barely 100 pounds. People thought she was a 4th grader. But naturally, she wanted adult clothes and shoes. We had the hardest time finding size 4 shoes that didn't have the Lion King on them! I remember going from store to store looking for shoes she liked. I think we finally found some at payless. We still shop there today.
Guardianship
As Beth got closer to her high school graduation, we had the school tell us that we had to submit paperwork to become her legal guardian. They told us all kinds of scary stories of kids being sold cars they couldn't afford and people stealing from them. Being the compliant parents we are, we filled out the paperwork, hired a lawyer and began the process. The lawyer was a friend of ours from church and he began to ask us questions. Did Beth often go places by herself? Was Beth interested in having a car? Would Beth open a checking account without us? We began to realize that it probably wasn't necessary to become her guardian that year. Well it's been 10 years and we're still not her legal guardians. At her job service, Beth signed a form saying they can talk directly to us and that that we're able to make decisions with her. Companies have been very accommodating when it comes to talking with us and with Beth. We include Beth in decisions: does she want a checking account or not; does she want to learn to drive a car; is she interested in moving out on her own. Now, every family is different and you may choose to become your child's legal guardian. But just know it's not a requirement.
Explain Everything.
We didn't used to explain transitions to Beth. Looking back now I wonder how we could have missed this important issue. When I say transitions, I mean like vacations, moving, changing schools. I don't ever remember sitting down with her and explaining, in detail, what was going to happen. I think we just told her the same way we told Sharaya and Diana. We realized this when we took a vacation to the East Coast. The first 4 days Beth was just a bear. She wouldn't talk to us. She was angry. At one point we were walking around New York and she just sat down. On the sidewalk. She finally opened up to us and we realized she thought this was our new life now. That we had left everything back in Seattle and this was home. We hadn't told her it was only a vacation!! Now we tell her in advance, mark it on her calendar and we talk about it a lot. She's able to ask questions, express her fears. It makes her a part of the entire experience instead of just going along for the ride.
Puberty
Beth was 9 1/2 when we began to see physical changes, hair under her arms, etc. At 13 we bought her first bra and she started her period. A few months before Beth started her period, she would itch... down there. And so she would scratch. (It wasn't until Sharaya was going through this that we realized it was a sign of things to come.) I had been praying for some time about this day. I was so afraid that it would happen while Beth was at school. But, thankfully it happened on a quiet Saturday morning. She got up to go to the bathroom and yelled, "Mom!!" I knew instantly. :) I showed her how to put on a pad and talked to her about being a young woman now. I monitored her throughout the day, making sure she was changing it regularly. The next day she went to the bathroom and called me again. She showed me the spot on her pad and said, "Not again!" Maybe I didn't explain the whole '35 years of this' quite well enough. Now all I have to do is ask her if there's enough in the cupboard. If not, she writes it on the grocery list.
Style
It was hard to find shoes and clothes that fit Beth and reflected her age. At 14 she was 5'9" and weighed barely 100 pounds. People thought she was a 4th grader. But naturally, she wanted adult clothes and shoes. We had the hardest time finding size 4 shoes that didn't have the Lion King on them! I remember going from store to store looking for shoes she liked. I think we finally found some at payless. We still shop there today.
Guardianship
As Beth got closer to her high school graduation, we had the school tell us that we had to submit paperwork to become her legal guardian. They told us all kinds of scary stories of kids being sold cars they couldn't afford and people stealing from them. Being the compliant parents we are, we filled out the paperwork, hired a lawyer and began the process. The lawyer was a friend of ours from church and he began to ask us questions. Did Beth often go places by herself? Was Beth interested in having a car? Would Beth open a checking account without us? We began to realize that it probably wasn't necessary to become her guardian that year. Well it's been 10 years and we're still not her legal guardians. At her job service, Beth signed a form saying they can talk directly to us and that that we're able to make decisions with her. Companies have been very accommodating when it comes to talking with us and with Beth. We include Beth in decisions: does she want a checking account or not; does she want to learn to drive a car; is she interested in moving out on her own. Now, every family is different and you may choose to become your child's legal guardian. But just know it's not a requirement.
Monday, October 22, 2012
31 For 21 - October is More Than Just Ds Awareness Month
At our house, it's also birthday month!!
Beth was born on October 10, 1984. Sharaya was born on October 6, 1986. We always wanted our kids to be 2 years apart, but we weren't figuring on them being just 4 days apart. Beth was more than two weeks late; my original due date, the one the doctor gave me the first time I saw him was September 21. Then further along in the pregnancy, he changed it to September 29. Beth didn't care. She didn't want to come out no matter what date it was!! She was an emergency c-section because my water broke yet she hadn't moved into the birth canal.
Two years later I chose to try a vaginal birth (sorry if that's too much information!) Sharaya tried to come out. I was in labor for a week, every night from midnight to 8 AM. I'm not exaggerating. At 8 AM, the contractions would stop. I'd spend my day taking care of Beth, then as I was crawling back into bed, they'd start again. A week later the contractions continued throughout the day, but my water never broke. After 31 straight hours of labor, they took her by c-section. Looking back now, Chuck and I realize they never broke my water. Why didn't they break my water?!?
Anyway, with two birthdays so close together, we celebrated them together. Two little girls, one party.
Beth was born on October 10, 1984. Sharaya was born on October 6, 1986. We always wanted our kids to be 2 years apart, but we weren't figuring on them being just 4 days apart. Beth was more than two weeks late; my original due date, the one the doctor gave me the first time I saw him was September 21. Then further along in the pregnancy, he changed it to September 29. Beth didn't care. She didn't want to come out no matter what date it was!! She was an emergency c-section because my water broke yet she hadn't moved into the birth canal.
Two years later I chose to try a vaginal birth (sorry if that's too much information!) Sharaya tried to come out. I was in labor for a week, every night from midnight to 8 AM. I'm not exaggerating. At 8 AM, the contractions would stop. I'd spend my day taking care of Beth, then as I was crawling back into bed, they'd start again. A week later the contractions continued throughout the day, but my water never broke. After 31 straight hours of labor, they took her by c-section. Looking back now, Chuck and I realize they never broke my water. Why didn't they break my water?!?
Anyway, with two birthdays so close together, we celebrated them together. Two little girls, one party.
But then one day Sharaya came to us and asked if they could have separate parties. I think she was turning 10. It was definitely time. Why didn't we think of it first? We're the parents, we should have thought of that! (Sharaya has always been one of the sensible ones in the family.) So that year we began having two parties. Two older girls. Two cakes.
On October 6, we'd buy a cake and invite people over. Then 4 days later, we'd buy a different cake and invite different people over.
There were big parties.
And there were small parties.
One year Beth got her ears pierced. She wore the earrings for the recommended 6 weeks but when she changed them, the holes closed over almost instantly. I think she was without earrings for 24 hours, but the holes were already closed. She got them pierced again about 6 months later and the same thing happened. She decided she didn't want them done again.
This year they turned 28 and 26 and we didn't even take pictures. We're becoming more relaxed as they (we!) get older. :) But we do love October in our house!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
31 For 21 - Double Prizes!!
Beth took part in the Special Olympics bowling tournament today.
She brought home a 4th place ribbon.
(Thank you Diana for the pictures!)
And Diana bought a bike!
She rode around the neighborhood then rode out to her old elementary school.
Now that she's working 3 jobs, she's glad to have some transportation!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
31 For 21 - The World Kept Going
When Beth was born, my hospital room was a constant buzz of activity, as I'm sure are all rooms of parents who've just given birth to a baby with special needs.
That diagnoses consumed me. It was everything and it was all that mattered.
But the world kept going. Outside that hospital room, construction was going on in the city. Lawyers were walking into their offices preparing for their next case. Parents were at home putting one more load of laundry into the dryer. Police officers were writing tickets.
But looking back now, it seemed that in that hospital room, the world had stopped. For 4 days my life was completely saturated with Down Syndrome. The outside world seemed like a foreign place to me.
But once we got home, the world seemed to come into focus again. We picked back up where we had left off. Only now we had a gorgeous baby girl to join us.
----------------------------------------------
One of the things I wrote in Beth's baby book was a list of movies and TV shows that were popular at the time she was born.
On TV there was:
Hill Street Blues
St. Elsewhere
The Cosby Show
Family Ties
Movies:
Ghostbusters
The Woman in Red
Revenge of the Nerds
Star Trek 3
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
The world kept going.
That diagnoses consumed me. It was everything and it was all that mattered.
But the world kept going. Outside that hospital room, construction was going on in the city. Lawyers were walking into their offices preparing for their next case. Parents were at home putting one more load of laundry into the dryer. Police officers were writing tickets.
But looking back now, it seemed that in that hospital room, the world had stopped. For 4 days my life was completely saturated with Down Syndrome. The outside world seemed like a foreign place to me.
But once we got home, the world seemed to come into focus again. We picked back up where we had left off. Only now we had a gorgeous baby girl to join us.
----------------------------------------------
One of the things I wrote in Beth's baby book was a list of movies and TV shows that were popular at the time she was born.
On TV there was:
Hill Street Blues
St. Elsewhere
The Cosby Show
Family Ties
Movies:
Ghostbusters
The Woman in Red
Revenge of the Nerds
Star Trek 3
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
The world kept going.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
31 For 21 - Eeewwww
It's Thursday. Ryan and Sharaya come over for dinner every Thursday.
After we eat we usually play games. Scrabble. Uno.
Tonight we played Uno. Laughing. Drinking hot tea.
Laughing some more.
I noticed Allison was very quiet.
I got up to see what she was doing.
I found her in the bathroom.
She was brushing her teeth.
With my toothbrush.
After we eat we usually play games. Scrabble. Uno.
Tonight we played Uno. Laughing. Drinking hot tea.
Laughing some more.
I noticed Allison was very quiet.
I got up to see what she was doing.
I found her in the bathroom.
She was brushing her teeth.
With my toothbrush.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
31 For 21 - Is It Just Me?
I know I missed a day. I started feeling better then, BAM! It hit me again. I slept in Chuck's recliner last night, part sitting up, part reclining just so I could breathe. Laying down caused my nose to instantly plug up. Ugh. Last week Chuck slept in his recliner for the same reason. He's better thank goodness, but now Beth, Diana and I are fighting it. The guy at Bartells said 3 of their employees were out sick. The lady at Safeway said she's been out sick and her whole family has it. It seems to always happen this time of year. The warm temps change over to cold and windy.
Oh well. That's not really what I wanted to write about.
I guess October is also Cancer awareness month. Is anyone else seeing pink everywhere? Chuck and I were watching the Charger football game and some of the players were wearing pink shoes. They had small, pink ribbons painted on their helmets.
There are commercials and billboards. Busses and radio promotions. All about cancer awareness. I picked up Beth's prescription this week and the childproof cap... was pink. Pink is everywhere! And it awesome! Such creativity to bring awareness to a difficult, way too common disease. (Is cancer considered a disease? I don't know and I'm so afraid of offending people.)
Anyway, what I'm curious about is why haven't I seen any Down Syndrome awareness spots on TV? Where are the radio spots for the Buddy Walks? Why hasn't the NDSS promoted Down Syndrome? Why haven't we seen more blue and yellow ribbons around this month?
At the Puget Sound Buddy Walk this year they told us that two years ago they raised $5000. Last year they raised $11,000. This year, they raised over $30,000!! That's huge! It's exciting that the money will go toward... you know, I have no idea what the money goes toward. Maybe I should look into it.
Now, if you've made it this far and are still reading, let me just say, I'm not angry that I haven't seen blue and yellow ribbons. I'm just curious why? I haven't contributed financially to the NDSS or even to the Buddy Walk so I know I don't get a say in where the money should go. I guess, for the first time, I'm just aware that Down Syndrome awareness month doesn't seem to be publicized outside of the Down Syndrome community. (Am I just missing it?)
Personally, I don't feel that my blogging every day is bringing awareness because I think about 97% of the people that read my blog have children or siblings that have Down Syndrome. They're already aware.
Maybe I need to start posting more on facebook, where most of my friends aren't aware. Maybe I need to hang blue and yellow curling ribbon from my rear view mirror. Maybe I need to step up.
I'm excited to see so much pink. A co-worker of Chuck's just lost her battle with cancer. I followed her blog until last year when she was given the 'all-clear' from her doctor. Then, it returned. She was on vacation in Hawaii last week when she was rushed to the hospital. They flew her home just in time for her to say goodbye to her family. It's heartbreaking. I wish there were more pink ribbons and lids and helmets!
I also wish there were more blue and yellow...
Oh well. That's not really what I wanted to write about.
I guess October is also Cancer awareness month. Is anyone else seeing pink everywhere? Chuck and I were watching the Charger football game and some of the players were wearing pink shoes. They had small, pink ribbons painted on their helmets.
There are commercials and billboards. Busses and radio promotions. All about cancer awareness. I picked up Beth's prescription this week and the childproof cap... was pink. Pink is everywhere! And it awesome! Such creativity to bring awareness to a difficult, way too common disease. (Is cancer considered a disease? I don't know and I'm so afraid of offending people.)
Anyway, what I'm curious about is why haven't I seen any Down Syndrome awareness spots on TV? Where are the radio spots for the Buddy Walks? Why hasn't the NDSS promoted Down Syndrome? Why haven't we seen more blue and yellow ribbons around this month?
At the Puget Sound Buddy Walk this year they told us that two years ago they raised $5000. Last year they raised $11,000. This year, they raised over $30,000!! That's huge! It's exciting that the money will go toward... you know, I have no idea what the money goes toward. Maybe I should look into it.
Now, if you've made it this far and are still reading, let me just say, I'm not angry that I haven't seen blue and yellow ribbons. I'm just curious why? I haven't contributed financially to the NDSS or even to the Buddy Walk so I know I don't get a say in where the money should go. I guess, for the first time, I'm just aware that Down Syndrome awareness month doesn't seem to be publicized outside of the Down Syndrome community. (Am I just missing it?)
Personally, I don't feel that my blogging every day is bringing awareness because I think about 97% of the people that read my blog have children or siblings that have Down Syndrome. They're already aware.
Maybe I need to start posting more on facebook, where most of my friends aren't aware. Maybe I need to hang blue and yellow curling ribbon from my rear view mirror. Maybe I need to step up.
I'm excited to see so much pink. A co-worker of Chuck's just lost her battle with cancer. I followed her blog until last year when she was given the 'all-clear' from her doctor. Then, it returned. She was on vacation in Hawaii last week when she was rushed to the hospital. They flew her home just in time for her to say goodbye to her family. It's heartbreaking. I wish there were more pink ribbons and lids and helmets!
I also wish there were more blue and yellow...
Monday, October 15, 2012
31 For 21 - Still Not Feeling Well
I'm still not feeling well. I took a shower and it wiped me out.
I'll try again tomorrow.
I'll try again tomorrow.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
31 For 21 - Cheating
I'm sick. I haven't said it out loud hoping it wouldn't really happen. But my throat is sore, I have a headache, I feel like I might have a fever.
Chuck has been sick for 3 days now. I think he shared it with me.
Thanks dear.
There, I've officially posted for today. :)
Chuck has been sick for 3 days now. I think he shared it with me.
Thanks dear.
There, I've officially posted for today. :)
Saturday, October 13, 2012
31 For 21 - She Won't Follow Directions
Well, I spoke with K today about not coaching Beth and just letting her do it on her own today. I said that she can get flustered when she's the center of attention and her score last week was only 35. K hadn't realized that and agreed to just watch today. He cheered for her and I think gave her a high 5 once. Talking to him definitely wasn't as hard as I thought it was gonna be.
But she kept looking back at K whenever it was her turn to bowl, like she was hoping he'd coach her so I asked her if she wanted him to and she said no. Okay.
She did okay with her new wrist guide. She kept adjusting it and I think it made her feel like a professional bowler. :) Unfortunately her score didn't reflect that.
She tends to stand so far back when she throws, today she began pushing her foot against the score table! About 4-5 feet behind the lane! I saw this little plastic sign on the table and I tried to explain to her how it was easier for me to knock it down when I was closer to it. I told her that she needed to go all the way to the line before she threw her ball. She did it one time.
Then it was back to standing so far back that her ball would land with a loud bang on the floor, instead of the lane. All the things K was telling her last week, stand close to the line; keep your arm straight; point your thumb toward the pins; she would do one time, then go back to her old ways. She has one of the lowest scores of all the bowlers and there must be close to 75 on the team.
I know it's not about winning, but she gets so disappointed when she throws a gutter ball or only knocks down a few pins.
But she won't. follow. directions.
But she kept looking back at K whenever it was her turn to bowl, like she was hoping he'd coach her so I asked her if she wanted him to and she said no. Okay.
She did okay with her new wrist guide. She kept adjusting it and I think it made her feel like a professional bowler. :) Unfortunately her score didn't reflect that.
She tends to stand so far back when she throws, today she began pushing her foot against the score table! About 4-5 feet behind the lane! I saw this little plastic sign on the table and I tried to explain to her how it was easier for me to knock it down when I was closer to it. I told her that she needed to go all the way to the line before she threw her ball. She did it one time.
Then it was back to standing so far back that her ball would land with a loud bang on the floor, instead of the lane. All the things K was telling her last week, stand close to the line; keep your arm straight; point your thumb toward the pins; she would do one time, then go back to her old ways. She has one of the lowest scores of all the bowlers and there must be close to 75 on the team.
I know it's not about winning, but she gets so disappointed when she throws a gutter ball or only knocks down a few pins.
But she won't. follow. directions.
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