Sunday, September 7, 2014

Overwhelmed... and Trying to Remember to Breathe

I've been thinking about this blog for the last week. I know I've needed to write and I've wondered about what to write. I started this blog as a way to help parents of kids who have Down Syndrome. My daughter is grown and...

See, even that, I just want to erase it. My mind has been jumbled lately and I've had a hard time focusing. I wrote a great post in my head the other day, while laying in bed. Then I fell asleep for the night and when I woke up... it was gone. It was relevant, current, exactly what many moms and dads are going through right now... and at the time I remember thinking it was the perfect post but do you think I can remember now, what it was about? Not even a little.

Chuck is losing his job in a few weeks. The company he's been with for 19 years is closing his department and he'll be out of work by the end of the month. He's been applying for jobs and going on interviews but hasn't received any offers yet. I know this hasn't taken God by surprise. Every day of our lives have been written by the Lord, but it took us by surprise and it's been hard not to freak out. When I let myself really think about it, I start to panic so I have to always keep in mind that God is in control and He has a plan for us.

Part of my job is event planning for our business meetings. These events are full time in themselves but I still have to make time to do my regular job. Today was our business meeting (we have 3 a year) and this week has been so stressful for me. Our linen order was never delivered so I went in on my day off and spent a couple of hours on the phone with the linen service company. Come to find out, we did put in an order, but their rep is on an extended leave and never told us, so our order has been sitting in her inbox. Thankfully the linens arrived in time. Plus the attendance exploded this time and instead of setting the room for 85, we had to prepare for 190. Just a little stressful to say the least.

Our Special Connections ministry hasn't been going as I hoped. The Lord is showing me things I need to be doing differently and I've been in a lot of prayer over that. So many additional things that I really don't think I can do. But He reminds me that it's not me doing it, it's Him working through me. We are His hands and feet and if I truly believe that, I have to let Him do His work, using me where He needs me. He will sustain me and strengthen me when I need it.

For 2 years now, Chuck has been working two jobs so I'm doing 99% of the work around the house. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, yard work... it's become so exhausting. Day in and day out. And Chuck, some days he leaves here at 6 AM and doesn't get home until midnight. Only to be up and gone the next morning at 6:00. This last stint, he worked 13 days straight. (In fact, he's at work right now, while I type this!) So by the time he does get an evening off, he's thoroughly worn out. His second job is very part time and even if he goes to work there full time, it won't even begin to make up for the money he makes at his main job. And because he is working part time there, we're not sure he can get unemployment.

I'm trying to be careful and not get so busy that I burn out. I know too many people that can't say no and it really begins to change them. You can become bitter and angry by always saying yes so I'm truly cautious of that. I've never been one to over do it, but lately we seem to be getting so busy. Some days it seems the stress level is through the roof.

I'm trying to remember to breathe. And to stop and smell the flowers. To really take the time to enjoy what the Lord has given us. Our home, our family and friends. We really are blessed. When I think of what others are going through, single moms, women whose husbands are gone weeks at a time, kids in and out of the hospital, I know my life isn't that difficult.

But sometimes we get so caught up in our circumstances, it's hard to see the blessings.


Sue from NY said...

I'm a lurker,not usually a commenter, but I love your blog. Hang in there. God has a plan. You're good people and all will work out. Follow your heart and try not to stress.

Caz said...

You're carrying a huge amount of responsibility, and worry, and work. I know (and respect and envy) your belief that your God will guide you and it sounds like you are trying to find time to listen. I'm just wondering if there are things you need to back off from, I don't know... I'm just expressing concern that things are so stressful at the moment...lots of hope for solutions. And hope that you'll keep using this space in whatever way you need to, so that we can stay in contact x

Unknown said...

Oh Cindy, so much you're going through right now. It always seems to come in waves doesn't it. I hate to hear Chuck is losing his job. My husband lost his at the beginning of the year as well. It is stressful. Just remember to take care of you.

Meg said...

Another reader/lurker here that enjoys reading about your family. So sorry for all the stress and hope that the job situation for Chuck resolves quickly. He should be eligible for unemployment for the main job, if the part-time job does not provide the same level of income. Good luck!

Megan said...

Yet another lurker here that enjoys reading about you and your family. I'm sorry that you guys have so much stress right now. I hope Chuck finds a more stable job soon!

Anna Theurer said...

Hang in there, Cindy. God has a plan even if we don't know what it is just yet. It sounds like there are so many stressors in your household right now. Prayers that things calm down a bit and that Chuck finds a good job that he will love soon.

Mom of 12 said...

Your life does sound a lot like mine. One thing I've noticed about life is it's all about change. If I'm not happy in this moment, no worries because the only constant is change.
Give Beth a hug for me.

Rochelle said...

God definitely has a plan. So sorry about the job. Praying that God reveals his plan to you both soon.