Are You Okay?

When Chuck and I got to the condo a few weeks ago, I walked straight to the living room, opened that sliding door and just sobbed. My sister in February; my nieces fiance' in 2019 three days before their wedding; my dad just one month later; Chuck's mom last year; the stress at work; covid; Chuck's cancer... it all just poured out. Chuck stood there and rubbed my back for a few minutes.

 

I took a deep breath... it's been an overwhelming few years. I feel bad for always writing about it. At least I feel like I'm always writing about it. But I know I'm not alone. It seems like everyone has had enormous things happen in their personal lives the last few years.

And speaking of that, how are you doing?

What's been happening in your life? Are you okay?

Just Breathe

I left work at 3:00 yesterday afternoon and haven't been back since. I think this is the longest I've been away in the last 3 weeks. I've got 3 people working today so I know things are in good hands.

I've been listening to a song by Jonny Diaz called Breathe. I keep hitting the repeat button:

Ready set go, it's another wild day

When the stress is on the rise

In my heart I hear you say

"Just breathe. Just breathe.

Chaos calls but all you really need is to

just breathe."

That's what I've been doing today. I spent some time with the Lord this morning, remembering His faithfulness to me over the years and I'm beginning to feel like a human again. I did a load of laundry, emptied the dishwasher, mailed a card to a friend, filled the dishwasher... real human stuff! 😊 

I've still got some difficult things ahead of me at work but yesterday I trained two new people and I think they're going to be great! Two young guys who are strong and eager to work. Plus I've got two more applications on my desk from people who have applied so I'll talk to my boss when he gets back from vacation on Monday and get his thoughts on hiring them.

Until then I'm just going to breathe.

Whew. It feels good to breathe. 

Now on to other things ~

Sharaya gave me this card for Christmas:

  

When I opened it I heard my dad say, "Well hi sweety!" And of course I lost it. To hear his voice again was indescribable. She found a company that inserts a recording into a card or lets you insert the recording into a device that you can then put in a card, I'm not sure how it works to be honest but oh my goodness what a phenomenal gift for someone who's just lost a loved one!

We got Beth a bowling ball for Christmas. She's had two others but after a while they begin to crack and break apart. The guy at the sports shop told me that those were probably made of plastic and we needed urethane or resin. And this time she chose purple!

Measuring her fingers so they can drill the holes

 

Of course we had to bowl a couple of games when we picked up her bag and ball. I mean, what kind of parent would I be if I denied the family a good game of bowling, right?!

I honestly don't remember who won but I'm sure Sharaya or Diana could tell you. There's no competition in our family! Oh no, none at all! 😉

Have you ever been bowling?

Random Stuff

I've been in a funk the last few days. I think it's due to stress and so much responsibility on my shoulders right now. I know you've been there too, when you can't turn your thoughts off and you're waking up in the middle of the night thinking of all the things you have to do or trying to remember if you did everything you were supposed to do... and I hate feeling this way during this time of year!

Beth has been home sick all week. I think it's just a cold, there's no fever, she's just really congested.

There are 4 staff members at work who have had the stomach flu this week. The rest of us are using disinfecting wipes everywhere!

I thought our washing machine broke a few weeks ago. After doing a load the laundry room floor was flooded! I took the rug outside and mopped up the mess. We didn't use it for a week and then one afternoon when Chuck was home I laid out a bunch of towels and did a small load.

No water.

Then I did a medium load and then a large and there was no water on the floor! I have no idea what caused it before but I'm so thankful it's still working! It's really old, we bought it about 15 years ago but it's still going strong!

I just looked through my camera to see if I have pictures I could post but they're all of work! Crooked doors, a big event last week, part of a shelving unit I want to replace...     

Chuck continues to do well with his new diet. He saw the nutritionist on Monday and now he's able to eat soft foods like applesauce, soft scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, etc. His clothes are looking really baggy on him!

Are you doing okay? I hope things are going well for you and your families.  

The Library Roof To The Rescue!

After a 13 hour day on Friday I pulled out of work and saw the gorgeous sunset! I drove around trying to get a good view when I drove right up to the library.

That's when I remembered our library has a roof that overlooks the water! It was so pretty.

Have a blessed week!

A Person Can Only Take So Much

My job has been challenging to say the least. Technically I'm supposed to be at 25 hours a week but it's been closer to 35.

These are my stats lately...

 

And today I had to go into work and confront an employee who has been calling in sick at the last minute, taking time off, complaining, sometimes just not showing up... thankfully they told me they did want to keep their job. I'm hoping their behavior changes.

A couple weeks ago I wrote an email to Beth's job coach. I've been so frustrated with her lack of drive to find Beth a job.

 

Well, today I sent it to her.

And to her boss.

And the state agency who pays them both.

I told them that Beth has now missed out on TWO holiday seasons where everyone and their brother is hiring! Yet Beth is still without a job. I told them I didn't want to change services but maybe we're at that place?

And now I'm going to fix some tea, do some laundry and try to enjoy the rest of my day off. Some good news is, I got my Christmas cards done! 😊

How is your holiday season going so far?

We're All Glad This Weekend Is Over

On Monday Chuck tripped and fell while at work and has been home all week with a sore foot. (X-rays showed no broken bones, thank goodness!) Thursday I was up early to take Allie to school.

Friday I visited a friends farm and wedding venue. They've just recently moved there and it was fun to get the grand tour! T is such a gracious hostess. One week before the wedding season begins, she had us all up to her house for lunch! Thank you C for letting me ride with you!

Spent Saturday afternoon making hors d'oeuvres for a Volunteer Appreciation event. Then spent 30 minutes at home before going back that evening for the actual event. This is just some of the food we had and all of it was delicious!

(Not my photo)

 Our church couldn't do all the things it does, Food and Clothing Bank, neighborhood outreaches, Children's church, VBA, homeless ministry... without the help of hundreds of volunteers. So once a year we hold a huge party for them! We treat them like royalty and just love on them for the evening. It's a great way to give back to those who give so much to others.

(Not my photos)

 

A, me, Beth and Kathy

 The last couple of weeks have been busy at work as I planned for our Business Meeting (which was today.) I'm the event planner and there is so much work to be done to pull off this event. I ran out of cloth napkins so I couldn't put any under the centerpieces. Oh well, nobody noticed. :)  It's fun to do but I'm always glad when it's over. Especially when it falls on a weekend like this one!

Beth 's boyfriend has been on vacation with his family all week and she hasn't seen him in over 11 days! He got home today. :) He sent her a postcard and you should have seen the smile on her face when she read it! He really lights up her world! Then today she said he texted her and told her he was going to kiss her when he sees her on Tuesday. Ooooh! :)

 We're all so thankful for the start of a new week!

I hope you all have a great one!

The Sound of Silence

Rest.

That's the agenda for the week.

There's been so much stress in my life lately, the last 6 - 8 months have been overwhelming to say the least. Not everything affects me directly, but it still takes a toll emotionally. I've even noticed some physical effects from all the stress.

Chuck's job
Our finances
Sharaya & Ryan
Ministry
My niece
Grief...

And that's just the short list.

So I took this week off from work and I'm staying home. Sleeping in. Spending time with the Lord. Getting quiet. Reading. Praying.

I need some time just to quiet my thoughts.

Overwhelmed... and Trying to Remember to Breathe

I've been thinking about this blog for the last week. I know I've needed to write and I've wondered about what to write. I started this blog as a way to help parents of kids who have Down Syndrome. My daughter is grown and...

See, even that, I just want to erase it. My mind has been jumbled lately and I've had a hard time focusing. I wrote a great post in my head the other day, while laying in bed. Then I fell asleep for the night and when I woke up... it was gone. It was relevant, current, exactly what many moms and dads are going through right now... and at the time I remember thinking it was the perfect post but do you think I can remember now, what it was about? Not even a little.

Chuck is losing his job in a few weeks. The company he's been with for 19 years is closing his department and he'll be out of work by the end of the month. He's been applying for jobs and going on interviews but hasn't received any offers yet. I know this hasn't taken God by surprise. Every day of our lives have been written by the Lord, but it took us by surprise and it's been hard not to freak out. When I let myself really think about it, I start to panic so I have to always keep in mind that God is in control and He has a plan for us.

Part of my job is event planning for our business meetings. These events are full time in themselves but I still have to make time to do my regular job. Today was our business meeting (we have 3 a year) and this week has been so stressful for me. Our linen order was never delivered so I went in on my day off and spent a couple of hours on the phone with the linen service company. Come to find out, we did put in an order, but their rep is on an extended leave and never told us, so our order has been sitting in her inbox. Thankfully the linens arrived in time. Plus the attendance exploded this time and instead of setting the room for 85, we had to prepare for 190. Just a little stressful to say the least.

Our Special Connections ministry hasn't been going as I hoped. The Lord is showing me things I need to be doing differently and I've been in a lot of prayer over that. So many additional things that I really don't think I can do. But He reminds me that it's not me doing it, it's Him working through me. We are His hands and feet and if I truly believe that, I have to let Him do His work, using me where He needs me. He will sustain me and strengthen me when I need it.

For 2 years now, Chuck has been working two jobs so I'm doing 99% of the work around the house. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, yard work... it's become so exhausting. Day in and day out. And Chuck, some days he leaves here at 6 AM and doesn't get home until midnight. Only to be up and gone the next morning at 6:00. This last stint, he worked 13 days straight. (In fact, he's at work right now, while I type this!) So by the time he does get an evening off, he's thoroughly worn out. His second job is very part time and even if he goes to work there full time, it won't even begin to make up for the money he makes at his main job. And because he is working part time there, we're not sure he can get unemployment.

I'm trying to be careful and not get so busy that I burn out. I know too many people that can't say no and it really begins to change them. You can become bitter and angry by always saying yes so I'm truly cautious of that. I've never been one to over do it, but lately we seem to be getting so busy. Some days it seems the stress level is through the roof.

I'm trying to remember to breathe. And to stop and smell the flowers. To really take the time to enjoy what the Lord has given us. Our home, our family and friends. We really are blessed. When I think of what others are going through, single moms, women whose husbands are gone weeks at a time, kids in and out of the hospital, I know my life isn't that difficult.

But sometimes we get so caught up in our circumstances, it's hard to see the blessings.

Am I The Only One Feeling So Far Behind?

Usually we help at our church on Thanksgiving, cook our Thanksgiving dinner at home on Friday and on Saturday we get our tree.

Usually I start my Christmas letter the first part of November. Just after Thanksgiving I take it to Kinkos and get copies made. My cards are out in the mail the first week of December.

Usually I start my Christmas shopping the Monday before Thanksgiving. I've found the mall is empty that day with everyone traveling or preparing for Thanksgiving Day.

Usually.

Here it is December 11 and we don't have our tree yet. I haven't written one word of the Christmas letter (definitely won't be sending one this year) and we haven't even taken a photo for the card.

I haven't purchased one single gift yet. I feel so far behind. Like Christmas is gonna come and go and I'm gonna miss it completely.

We've been SO busy the last couple of weeks, I keep having to remind myself of the reason for this season. I need to slow down, relax, enjoy the lights and the cocoa and the music; not stress over what needs to be done. Although there's SO much that needs to be done. Did I mention my sister is coming for Christmas? She arrives at midnight on Christmas Eve and will be staying with us for 2 weeks. And I'm still trying to figure out where she's going to sleep.

Deeeep breath...