Earlier this year I was asked to help at a MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) program that meets at our church. MOPS reaches out to young moms and gives them a break away from their kids for a couple of hours. They have breakfast, do crafts (really nice, adult, hang-in-the-living-room-worthy crafts!) and spend time talking with other young moms.
A few months into it, I was asked if I could come and help out with MOPPETS. That's the childcare that happens while MOPS is meeting. There's a 4 year old boy M, who has autism and he's becoming too much for the teachers. The class he's in has 13-15 kids and the teachers are struggling to teach and try to help M at the same time. Poor mom was being called out of MOPS time after time because he was throwing tantrums and screaming and sending the rest of the class into chaos. They didn't know what else to do so could I come help and be a one-on-one with M?
Absolutely!!
So back in January I began helping in the classroom, assisting M when needed. He wears headphones to help lessen the noise, but he still would become overwhelmed when the noise level escalated. I was able to take him to our sensory classroom, where he would instantly relax, quiet down and begin to play with the various toys. After a few minutes, we'd head back.
Every other week for the last 6 months, M and I would discover new toys, read about bears and practice playing with other kids. When M was alone, he was an absolute doll, but put him with other kids and his senses just became so overwhelmed he would have a melt down. That's when I stepped him, removed him from class for a few minutes and allowed him to take a breath and relax.
Each week he became more tolerant of the noise level and he stayed in the classroom for longer periods of time. I absolutely LOVED watching him grow and expand his ability to handle stressful situations. Mom would come to pick him up and with tears in her eyes, thank me for allowing her to stay for the whole meeting. One time she told me that M was such a handful at home and she didn't get out much other than MOPS so she looked forward to it every time they'd meet. I could tell she was so overwhelmed with caring for him.
A few times I had to go get her due to a poopy diaper and as we would walk into the room, her face would sink, her smile would disappear and she would look at me like I had punched her in the gut. Then I would tell her that he just needed a change and her face would brighten and she would bounce up from her chair, "Oh! Let me grab my bag!" As they'd come out of the bathroom, he would pull away from her and run back to me, "Let's go see my friends!" A smile would spread across her face and she'd head back to her friends!
I'll tell you, it was exhausting, but I loved doing it so much!! Seeing him change and knowing mom was getting a break, it really did something in my heart.
(This is what I'm supposed to do with my life. Not just MOPPETS, but for families. The Lord has put such a desire in my heart for families with children who have special needs. Specifically those at our church. We not only need to minister to the kids, but also to their parents. We need to offer them friendship, time away, and peace of mind. We need to let them know they are loved and that they're not alone on this journey. This has become such a passion for me and I know I'm e-x-a-c-t-l-y where the Lord wants me.)
Well, Monday was the last MOPS meeting for this year and as mom came to get M, she thanked me again, for allowing her this chance to rest and be with other moms. M was trying to squirm from her grasp and becoming frantic that he didn't have his papers and craft from our class. His voice was getting louder as mom tried to tell him that she had everything and it was time to go. I reached into her bag and pulled out his papers, "See M? Mom has them! It's okay to go home now." He immediately calmed down and got into the back of the stroller. (His baby sister was in the front.)
With tears in her eyes, she looked back at me and said their family was moving to another state. (I had wondered if he would be back next year.) I told her I would miss them and she said, "Yea, now he will be someone elses..." and she paused.
I said, "Joy. He will be someone else's joy."
She pursed her lips and nodded yes, but she didn't say anything more.
With that, she turned and the three of them headed down the hallway to the elevator.
Showing posts with label MOPS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MOPS. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Amazing
I spoke at our MOPS (Mothers Of PreSchoolers) group today. I was so scared but it went really well!
I wrote out word for word what I wanted to say. My topic was 'What is the hardest part about raising a child with special needs?' I practiced saying it over and over.
We have a daylight basement with a great room, then a small bedroom that we've made into a den. (It had been Beth's bedroom but it's kind of dark and way in the back of the house and she didn't like it so now her bedroom furniture is in the great room.) I went into the den numerous times to practice.
Then I typed up just the outline and I practiced that. I gathered some pictures of Beth and our family; at the ocean, climbing trees, Beth as a baby, an adult; just so they could see who I was talking about.
Diana bought me a book in London called Keep Calm for Mums. Its filled with quotes about motherhood. I started off by reading a few of those -
- If you want your children to listen, try talking softly.... to someone else.
- A sweater is a garment worn by a child when the mother is chilly.
- If the kids are still alive when my husband gets home then hey, I've done my job!
- Making the decision to have a child is forever having your heart walk around outside your body.
I talked about how hard it was when Beth was born. The resources were outdated. And there was no texting. If you wanted to call someone you sat down at your kitchen table (because the phone was attached to the wall!) and you talked to them. Or you could get an envelope and a stamp and mail them a letter.
I said things had changed a lot since Beth was born. But one thing that hasn't changed is a question that gets asked of parents of children with special needs. And that question is:
What is the hardest part about raising a child with special needs?
I said the answer could be different for each parent but for me, the hardest part was public reaction. When people stare at Beth when we're walking through the mall. It's human nature to look at someone who is different. If you see someone in a wheel chair I think its natural to glance over at them. But then the majority of us go on about our lives. There are people however that stop walking and truly stare as Beth goes by. I encouraged the moms not to stare, but to make a connection. Introduce themselves, talk about their family member who has special needs. If they see a mom at the park who has a child with special needs, go over to her and say hi. Ask her about her child. Too often parents of children with special needs feel isolated and alone. Make a connection.
I had one mom ask about what to do when their child stares. I told her that she could stop her child right there and talk about the situation. (Don't necessarily stop the person who has special needs, but find a place out of the flow of people and have a discussion.) Why is that boy in a wheelchair? Maybe he got hurt and now his legs don't work. Talk to them at their level so they realize he's just a boy in a wheelchair and there's nothing to be afraid of.
I had a mom who teaches Sunday school ask about what to do when the child definitely has special needs and the other kids in Sunday school are asking about her. The parent isn't there, what to tell the kids? I told her (and I know the Lord was giving me these answers!) she could gather the kids around her and talk about how God has made all of us different. You have brown hair, Jimmy's hair is black. She's tall, he's shorter. Susie likes to sit quietly and read books while Johnny is very active. Don't single out the child with special needs, but talk about how everyone is different.
I could go on and on about the morning, I just want to say how absolutely amazing it was! Oh and after the first session (I spoke the same thing two separate times) a mom came up to me and told me that she has 3 boys. The oldest and youngest both have autism. Neither of them speak. I could tell she was overwhelmed.
After the second session a mom came to me and said she has a son with Down Syndrome and could she talk to me for a minute. She started to break down and said it was nice to talk to someone who had been through it. Afterward she told me he was in the next room, "Do you wanna meet him?" Yes!!!
Too often I feel isolated myself, living in my little world wondering if God can use me at all. Today He showed me that He wants to make a difference in these parents lives and He can do it through me. I came away feeling humbled and blessed beyond measure! I kept thanking Him over and over for what happened today. It truly was amazing.
I wrote out word for word what I wanted to say. My topic was 'What is the hardest part about raising a child with special needs?' I practiced saying it over and over.
We have a daylight basement with a great room, then a small bedroom that we've made into a den. (It had been Beth's bedroom but it's kind of dark and way in the back of the house and she didn't like it so now her bedroom furniture is in the great room.) I went into the den numerous times to practice.
Then I typed up just the outline and I practiced that. I gathered some pictures of Beth and our family; at the ocean, climbing trees, Beth as a baby, an adult; just so they could see who I was talking about.
Diana bought me a book in London called Keep Calm for Mums. Its filled with quotes about motherhood. I started off by reading a few of those -
- If you want your children to listen, try talking softly.... to someone else.
- A sweater is a garment worn by a child when the mother is chilly.
- If the kids are still alive when my husband gets home then hey, I've done my job!
- Making the decision to have a child is forever having your heart walk around outside your body.
I talked about how hard it was when Beth was born. The resources were outdated. And there was no texting. If you wanted to call someone you sat down at your kitchen table (because the phone was attached to the wall!) and you talked to them. Or you could get an envelope and a stamp and mail them a letter.
I said things had changed a lot since Beth was born. But one thing that hasn't changed is a question that gets asked of parents of children with special needs. And that question is:
What is the hardest part about raising a child with special needs?
I said the answer could be different for each parent but for me, the hardest part was public reaction. When people stare at Beth when we're walking through the mall. It's human nature to look at someone who is different. If you see someone in a wheel chair I think its natural to glance over at them. But then the majority of us go on about our lives. There are people however that stop walking and truly stare as Beth goes by. I encouraged the moms not to stare, but to make a connection. Introduce themselves, talk about their family member who has special needs. If they see a mom at the park who has a child with special needs, go over to her and say hi. Ask her about her child. Too often parents of children with special needs feel isolated and alone. Make a connection.
I had one mom ask about what to do when their child stares. I told her that she could stop her child right there and talk about the situation. (Don't necessarily stop the person who has special needs, but find a place out of the flow of people and have a discussion.) Why is that boy in a wheelchair? Maybe he got hurt and now his legs don't work. Talk to them at their level so they realize he's just a boy in a wheelchair and there's nothing to be afraid of.
I had a mom who teaches Sunday school ask about what to do when the child definitely has special needs and the other kids in Sunday school are asking about her. The parent isn't there, what to tell the kids? I told her (and I know the Lord was giving me these answers!) she could gather the kids around her and talk about how God has made all of us different. You have brown hair, Jimmy's hair is black. She's tall, he's shorter. Susie likes to sit quietly and read books while Johnny is very active. Don't single out the child with special needs, but talk about how everyone is different.
I could go on and on about the morning, I just want to say how absolutely amazing it was! Oh and after the first session (I spoke the same thing two separate times) a mom came up to me and told me that she has 3 boys. The oldest and youngest both have autism. Neither of them speak. I could tell she was overwhelmed.
After the second session a mom came to me and said she has a son with Down Syndrome and could she talk to me for a minute. She started to break down and said it was nice to talk to someone who had been through it. Afterward she told me he was in the next room, "Do you wanna meet him?" Yes!!!
Too often I feel isolated myself, living in my little world wondering if God can use me at all. Today He showed me that He wants to make a difference in these parents lives and He can do it through me. I came away feeling humbled and blessed beyond measure! I kept thanking Him over and over for what happened today. It truly was amazing.
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