I Know They're Out There, So Where Are They?

Beth, Diana and I went to the grocery store recently and there were so many people that looked at Beth. As I'm walking toward them, I can see their eyes are on her. 'They probably haven't seen anyone with Down Syndrome in a while, if ever,' I thought to myself.

Then I realized I hadn't seen anyone with Down Syndrome in a while either. In fact, I hadn't seen anyone else with Down Syndrome in months! Well, that's not entirely true.

There's one man who works at our grocery store and he and Beth know each other from back in high school. He and I will sometimes talk when I'm there, just about work and his love for music.

When we were out to dinner for Mother's Day, a gentleman came up to our table and waved at Beth. She shyly waved back and I asked her if she knew him and she said, "Not really." He had Ds and looked like he was maybe 40 or even older. He told us that he recognized Beth from Special Olympics. We think he said 'Special Olympics swimming' but Beth was only 9 when she swam in SO, so we're not sure. We talked with him for a minute and then he went back to sit with his family.

So that makes... two. Two people with Down Syndrome in the last, how many months?

I tried looking up the population stats of people with Ds in WA State but couldn't find any data. The Global Down Syndrome Foundation website states, "Surprisingly, the population of people in the United States with Down Syndrome is currently unknown."

I know they're out there. There are a few adults in the All Aboard program, but not a lot. So where are they? How do they spend their days? I'm curious about where they're hiding. :)

Please Learn From My Mistakes

We were at the grocery store the other day buying a good amount of groceries. Usually Chuck and I will have a cart full and then Beth buys her own things like shampoo, laundry soap, toothpaste, etc.

She likes us to go first through the check out, then she goes second. When he was done with ours he started Beth's and he asked for our phone number so Beth could get the 'card member' discout. I gave him our number.

Beth: "Oh maaan!"
Me: I'm sorry Beth. I should have let you tell him, huh?"
Beth: "Uh, yea!"

It's just so easy to do it myself. It's fast and it's done. But that's not the goal. The goal is to let her learn. She recognizes that she needs to do it and she's starting to remind me. If she does it, whatever 'it' is, she'll learn, the person helping her (cashier, waiter) will learn, the people watching her do it will learn. Now only if I would learn.....

I realize now that we did way too much for Beth when she was growing up. We took the easy road. We didn't want anyone to get frustrated or for Beth to do it wrong. So we did it for her. I did it for her. I remember our other girls telling us to "let her do it!" but I didn't listen. I see now how damaging that was to Beth. She is so capable of doing so much more, and sometimes I think it's too late. 'She'll be 28 this year, we've missed the opportunity.'

But I know in my heart that's not true. So each day I'm having her do more and more and she's doing it! She's very capable and smart and wants to learn. Please learn from my mistakes and let your kids learn. Let them try. Allow them to make mistakes and then try again. Who cares if the people around are frustrated or having to help? That doesn't matter. What does matter is your children feeling a sense of accomplishment, knowing they tried and succeeded. Even if they had to try over and over. Let them do it themselves.

Let them learn.