Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

All Aboard hosted a party - for girls only - and when Beth got home she told me, "I did have fun with my friends."

 

About 15 minutes before it ended I texted her, "Take some pictures!"

They played board games and made some art projects, it was fun for her to just hang out with girls for a change. I love All Aboard and the opportunities they provide for our grown up kids with special needs.

Why We Chose To Keep Her

We found out Beth had Down Syndrome the night she was born. It was 1984 and the life expectancy for someone with Down Syndrome was 25 years.

When Chuck came into my hospital room the next day, he came over to the side of my bed, took my hand and said, "We can still love her, can't we?" To be honest, I had never considered giving her up. It never even crossed my mind, but when he said that I knew that he felt the same way and we'd definitely be taking Beth home.

Then the doctor came in and told us our options. We could take her home, we could put her up for adoption, or we could put her in an institution. I was surprised that putting your baby in an institution was still an option in the 80's, I thought that wasn't done anymore. I remember being shocked that he even suggested it. I don't know what options they give parents today but I hope that's not one of them. 

We told him that our decision was made, we'd bring her home. From that point on, everything was geared for that. The nurses taught me how to nurse her, and watched me dress her for the first time. Everyone's plan was for us to take Beth home and it really helped me feel 'normal'. There were so many other things that put me in a different category from all the other new moms and I was so thankful that the hospital staff didn't question us or treat us any differently. Once our decision was made, that was that.

Chuck and I were worried about how our family would respond to her diagnosis and we even talked about how we should tell them. We decided it would be better if they all found out at the same time and we started calling everyone and asked them to come to the hospital. Of course while we had them on the phone, everyone asked if I was alright and then they'd ask if Beth was okay but we just told them that there were some things we needed to talk to them about. 

I was holding Beth when they all trickled in. We definitely wanted Beth there when we told them. We said she was showing signs of Down Syndrome, then we kind of held our breath for a minute. But we didn't need to worry because they were so supportive! One by one they started asking us questions about Down Syndrome, about what her development would be like, and they all wanted to hold her.

Even with family support we knew it wouldn't be easy. Actually we didn't know what it would be like, but we knew we would take her home, love her and just take life one day at a time. She was our daughter and it didn't matter if she had a disability or not, we were taking her home.

Beth at 5 months 

We chose to keep her because she was our daughter and for us, there was no other option.

Ooops. I Forgot To Explain What It's Like To Be Old

A few months back I asked if you remembered the phrase Pounding The Pavement but I realized I never explained what it meant! Raise your hand if you've heard it before... okay, a few of you, that's good.

It used to be that when you needed a job you looked through the classifieds in the newspaper, found stores or companies that were hiring, then dressed in your nicest clothes and walked from place to place. That's where 'pounding the pavement' came from. All that walking.

If they were hiring, they would hand you an application and you'd sit there and fill it out. With a pen. Then you'd go home and sit by the phone. Literally, because it was attached to the wall. And you'd wait.

If you didn't get a call, often times you would go back to the store and ask them if they had filled the position. It was important back then to be face to face, to let them see you. That proved to an employer that you really were interested in the job. If you didn't bother to come in, they didn't bother to hire you.

Nowadays it's all done on-line. You go on-line to see if they're hiring. The applications are on-line. You submit them on-line. The employer will contact you on-line...

Times, they are a changin'! 

As far as my girls, both Sharaya and Diana are working 2 jobs and Beth is still 'pounding the pavement'. Her job coach is looking into jobs at hospitals, churches, the school district... no openings yet, but she continues to look.

When Was The Last Time?

This poor blog. I think about it when I'm driving the car. Or crawling into bed at 11:30 at night. I really want to do a better job at posting more often.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty busy but I managed to capture a few shots of Beth...

Carrying Bibles back to the CRC after our Sunday school class 

 

She is such a great help in our class; bringing and returning the Bibles; she fills a pitcher with water for us, then empties and returns in back to the office; she really has a servants heart.

 

Nick joined us on January 7 and Beth was so excited! She talked about it for days. He came over after church and had lunch, then we played a little Mexican Train.

 

Then a few days ago Beth asked to get her hair cut. She told me what she wanted and I thought she would change her mind but she didn't! I told the stylist and...

 

Taa Daa! She absolutely loves it! All one length with an undercut. We've spent some time every morning curling the ends under and she is thrilled with it! 

When was the last time you got your hair cut? Were you happy with the results?

Every Single Thing Every Single Day

Beth loves to go to the grocery store. She walks around filling her cart with all kinds of... well, actually, with all the same things every single time. She brings her list and struts through the store like she's just won the lottery!

We like to snack at our house. We buy things like fruit cups, cheese sticks, bananas, granola bars. Rather than making a burrito or having chips and dip, we're more likely to just grab a quick item that's easy to eat.

Some of the things on Beth's list -

Jello cups

Cheese-Its

Yogurt

Fruit cups

Cheese Sticks

Granola Bars

Bananas

Salad Kits

Frozen Dinners...

She buys the same thing every single time. Which, okay, I do too, to an extent. The same bread, same milk, I know where it is and how much it costs so I don't have to think too much about it. 

But here is where the issue is with Beth: if she's home all day and lunch time rolls around, she has:

some cheese-its

a yogurt

a fruit cup

one banana

a salad

a granola bar

jello

a cheese stick...

You see where I'm going with this? She eats everything. Every day. 

We all went to the grocery store a couple weeks ago and after just 4 days (I'm not exaggerating!) Beth came upstairs and said she was completely out of food. 

'What?!? You just bought all that food! How could you be out already?!' Her food is all hers. She takes it downstairs and we don't even see it so I know we didn't eat it!

The jello comes in 6 small cups (although she buys the large ones.) The fruit cups come with 8 in a container, the granola bars have 6 or 8... we were just shocked that she had eaten so much in just a few days.

So now I'm trying to get her to only eat some of the things each day. Have a yogurt on Monday and a fruit cup on Tuesday. The food will last longer and she'll get more of a variety. We'll see how she does.

What about you? Do you tend to buy and eat the same things? Is there an item that you just have to have each week? (For me it's chocolate. A small bag of M&Ms, a few truffles... I just can't stay away from the chocolate!)

Golden

Diana turned 27 this year, on December 27th.

We had this in mind when we flew her out for Christmas so we got to celebrate them both with her!

 

 

Sharaya asked if we would buy a plain cake so she could decorate the top. I was thinking of a sweet sentiment telling Diana how much we loved her and how important she was to us... 

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 Ahh, sisters. Can you feel the love?! 😀

Happy Birthday Diana!!

Ask Your Mother

Nick texted me earlier this week and mentioned about him and Beth going to see Star Wars on Friday. I told him I thought it was a great idea and we began to set it up. He told me the name of the theater, what time it was playing, he even sent me the address!

He texted a couple of times asking if I had texted his mom and I said no. He said his mom would text me. "Have you got her text yet?" "No I haven't." 

That should have been a red flag.

Beth and I got to the theater and waited.

And waited.

He texted and said we were NOT to buy the tickets because he was going to buy them. "The boyfriend always buys for the girlfriend." I told him we wouldn't buy them but they might be sold out. The movie started in just 15 minutes.

Then he texts, "As soon as my mom gets home, we're on our way."

"What?!?" I have to tell you they live about 15-30 minutes away, depending on traffic. And his mom wasn't even at home!

I ended up texting her and no, she hadn't realized he had made plans with us. But she got home and her, Nick and Dad all jumped in the car and flew to the theater! They ended up seeing Jumanji instead (both Beth and Nick had seen Star Wars with family members anyway) and they loved it and said it was really funny.

I certainly learned a lesson in all this: ask his mom. No matter what texts I get, I need to confirm it with his mom before we set our alarms, get dressed, drive to the theater and stand around for 30 minutes.

He called me later that evening and asked if I was mad at him. I told him I had been but that it all worked out and I wasn't angry anymore. He apologized and we talked about what we need to do differently next time. 

As crazy as the day was, he really was a gentleman.

A Rare Day

 We had Christmas at Sharaya's house this year

 

We flew Diana in from Pennsylvania

 And for only the third time in 29 years, we had a white Christmas!

 

I love our house when it snows!

Now our yard looks as good as the neighbors! ☃ 😁

 Whether you spent it with friends or family or were missing family this year, I hope you had a blessed day.

Do You Mind?

When Beth was born we had to teach her e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. The physical therapist that came to our house each week showed us how to manipulate her fingers so she would eventually learn to grasp a toy. We worked her legs so she'd feel the movements of crawling. We showed her again and again how to roll over. Each new milestone was preceded with weeks, even months of strengthening exercises.

Beth with her physical therapist

We taught Beth every little detail about sitting up and walking, swimming and running. 

But something I wish I could go back and do over is the mental aspect of life. Now, you're probably thinking, "Well duh, of course you'd have to teach her the mental things." And we did. She attended good schools, we even home schooled our girls for a couple years. 

Beth and my mom

But I'm talking about those tiny, day-to-day things that you just don't think about. At least I didn't think about 'teaching' them to Beth. I didn't teach them to Sharaya or Diana but they understand the concepts. For instance:

"How much money do ya have on you?" 

If you or I were asked that question, we would grab our back pocket where we keep our wallets or clutch our purses and then give you an approximate number. But when Beth is asked that question she looks down and never answers. She's completely  silent. I've learned instead to ask her,

"How much money do you have in your wallet?"

Then without hesitation she'll answer, "A five and some ones." Then I explain to her what 'have on you' means. A quirky little phrase when you think about it.

  Another one is:

"Do you mind if I borrow your colored pencils?" 

For a long time she just looked down and wouldn't answer. So instead I would ask, "Is it okay if I borrow...?" That one she answers immediately, "Yep!"

The whole 'do you mind' question is tricky because you have to answer 'no' in order to say yes. I even find myself answering twice when someone asks me that question, "Sure. I mean no!"

Are there any phrases that have you scratching your head?

Lights and Chocolate and A Dragon

We all met at the church and had pizza and salad for dinner. The tables were covered with butcher paper so we could draw and color while we waited. Beth drew this perfect little snowman, I couldn't believe how perfect her circles were! This girl is so good at art.

 

The centerpieces were so cute! We have some very creative people at our church. I could go out, buy these items and recreate this centerpiece but I would not have thought of this all on my own. I just don't have that creative gene.

 

(This has nothing to do with this post, except that it's another centerpiece made by another co-worker. I'm so in awe of their talent!)

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, the Christmas party. After dinner we all climbed into our cars and headed to the Woodland Park Zoo. This time of year they have what they call WildLights. Parts of the zoo are blocked off and completely covered in lights!

We had never done this before and had so much fun! It's been so cold in Seattle this week with temps in the 30s and 40s so we got some hot chocolate to keep us warm!

Beth was a little unsure about seeing the Komodo Dragon until she saw a picture of it and realized it wasn't a fire-breathing kind of dragon. Being behind glass helped too, I'm sure. 

We watched kids - and adults! - have snowball fights with big balls of yarn; we listened to carolers; watched everyone on the carousel, such a fun night out!

 

 Have you done any holiday activities yet this season?