August 31

Today's my mom's birthday. She would have been 83 today. She passed away in 2005 but I still miss her so much. 

Especially the last few months. 

I just can't stop thinking about her. 

Things she taught me.

Lessons learned.

I miss the sound of her voice. The way she walked. Her hands. She had such long, thin fingers and I still remember the way she would brush my hair when I was little.

I see life through her eyes now. I didn't understand why she always seemed to be in pain, how she was always tired. Now I know what she was talking about when she'd say, "You're not in your 50s." 

Now I get it!

She was only 25 when I was born but I was her third and she had had 7 miscarriages by the time I came along.

I so wish I could take her out for coffee. 

Oh, she loved her coffee! 

I wish she could see Allie. 

We could just sit out on the back patio and watch Allie play.

I remember being in my late teens/early 20s and wondering why in the world she would just sit at the dining room table and stare at the window. What a waste of time!

Now I find myself sitting at my dining room table looking out the window and just day dreaming. 

Thinking about life. And my mom.

"Now I get it!"

One month before she died, Chuck and I had gone to San Diego and her and I went for a walk. We reminisced and laughed and I took a bunch of pictures of her. Not realizing they would be the last pictures ever. 

But as much as I miss her and as much as I'd love to hear her voice again, I know where she is and I know I'll see her again some day! And what a reunion that will be!

Happy Birthday Mom!