Rewind Wednesday - Tonsils

I kept journals for our girls while they were growing up. Wrote about school, their friends, milestones, etc. At one doctor appointment he told me that Beth's tonsils were almost touching each other and it would eventually make it hard for her to breathe. So we made the decision to have them removed.

March 20, 1998

It's 7:15 AM and you're sitting on your hospital bed getting ready to have your tonsils out. You drank some medicine to make you sleepy. You are very nervous! Daddy is here with us today! He took the day off from work so he could be with you. I love you Beth! You're going to do great today!

March 21, 1998

Hi Beth,
You did very good during your surgery yesterday. You even tried to sit up in recovery! The trouble started on the way home when you threw up in the car. Then again after we got home. And again and again. It's been very hard for you to keep food down (jello, ice cream) and therefore your pain medicine. We were finally able to give you some at about 7:00 last night. You have had about 5 bites of food today then some pain medicine and I gave you a suppository - you didn't like either of those! - and now you're asleep on the couch. I hadn't wanted it to be this hard for you. I called the prayer chain at church so a lot of people are praying for you. I hope the worst is over and you'll get better soon.


I wrote this a couple weeks later -

P.S. You did get better. It took about 11 days but you then began to perk up and eat more. It was a very hard time for you.

This was before she went in to surgery;

we were waiting for the medicine to take affect.

Beth was 14.

It's Over

My vacation, that is. One of our ministries had a meeting so I set up, served them lunch then tore down after it was over so today I officially went 'back to work'.


We really had a great week. Seattle had great weather! Monday it was in the high 70's; Diana and I sat outside all day. I didn't lift a finger. Didn't cook dinner, didn't do the dishes, nothin'. It was glorious!

The rest of the week I just did random stuff around the house. Watched the kids come and go to their various activities. On Friday I buckled down and actually painted the kitchen. It's not done yet but it's going to look so nice! Our kitchen has been an eggshell color and I'm painting it Pale Daffodil. It's yellow without being YELLOW, if you know what I mean. Diana used the roller on the big wall while I used a brush on the smaller areas. I thought Beth might come up and help but after she got home from job class, she went downstairs and didn't come up again until dinner!

Saturday we babysat Allie so we went out for ice cream, then went to the beach. It was low tide so we walked out to the water and threw rocks. We sat on some driftwood and layed on the grass for a while. It was a relaxing way to end the week.

Picnic Point Park

(Not my picture)

Needed

I'm on vacation this week. We're not planning any trips or anything, I'm just hanging out around the house. Sleeping in, reading books, sitting by the pool.

What? Were you imagining something different? Well, it's not the Isle of Capri, but it's exactly what I've needed this week!

Peaceful, After the U-Turn

I hope you all had a very happy Mother's Day. I thought of Joany and Polly and wondered how they celebrated their day, if they were able to celebrate at all. I prayed their weekends were filled with a few happy memories of their babies.

We celebrated on Saturday and our day went something like this:

On Saturday Sharaya took part in a 5K fun run/walk to help end human trafficking. It was through World Concern. Sharaya and Allie were coming to our house after it was over because Ryan had to work. They planned to take the shuttle to the start of the race so Beth and I drove to the shuttle pick up location (we had to transfer the car seat and diaper bag to our van) only to learn that they decided to park at Crista, the location of the 5K. Now, I must tell you that I am really bad with directions. I can get lost in a bathroom. Anyway, I drove to another shuttle location and the guy told me there was no parking. He then proceeded to tell me how to get to Crista because there was parking there. He told me, I repeated it, he said it again and as I was driving away, I promptly forgot!! We ended up in a neighborhood quite a ways away from where we wanted. I took a deep breath and made a u-turn. We eventually made our way to the Crista parking lot about 45 minutes after the race started. Crazy. And it was only a couple minutes from my house!! I really need to get out more.

Waiting for Sharaya to finish.

 

 

I also found out (after Sharaya was finished) that we were on the wrong side of the finish line! All those people in that picture? They had already crossed the finish line. They were just coming up the street to get their lunch. 

We got home and opened presents. I got so many things! Jewelry, a beautiful cross, a wind chime, a movie (The Lake House) a book of crossword puzzles (I need to do something to help improve my memory!) and of course chocolate!

Diana and I got Sharaya one of those antique pictures of Allie. I wish I had taken a picture of her opening it! One of those sepia pictures with the old clocks and suitcases, Allie was in a lace dress, it really turned out cute!

Chuck made dinner, then we sat out on the patio and played Catch Phrase.

Beth fell asleep waiting for all the fun to begin.

After the sun went behind the trees we came inside and played Mexican Train.

Me and my girls.

Sunday (after we got home from church) was spent just hanging out around the house. We played rummy, ate chocolate and watched movies. My family really gave me a beautiful, relaxing, peaceful weekend!

Overwhelmed

I'm not even sure where to begin. Nothing major, nothing serious, just lots of change. Change stresses me out.

In two weeks I'll be starting a new position at work. It's nothing I've ever done before and I'm a little overwhelmed at the task. I think it will be fun, I think I'll like it it but I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to do it. My hours will be cut, at least to start. Once we know what the new job will entail, I may get more hours but for now I'll lose my benefits. Other peoples hours are being cut, others are leaving, just so much anxiety right now. It's been a little stressful not knowing what the future holds.

Then I come home. This house has just become too much. I've been doing some spring cleaning lately, washing windows, cleaning out closets, but it still looks like a disaster! Every surface has something on it. Every. Single. Surface. I can't keep up with it anymore. I try. I make lists of chores and things that need doing, but it just never gets done. No matter how hard I try, I can't keep up with it. Why does the state of my house dictate the state of my mind?

You know Beth's outfits she likes so much? The pants were too long for her so I hemmed them. After a few months, the hem came out. So I'm in the process of hemming them again, this time she wants them shorter. I began working on them over the weekend, but only got one half of one pant leg done. This morning she's heading out the door and I notice she's wearing this outfit!! Her pants actually have three different lengths! Oh my word. I asked the Lord to not let anyone notice her pants today! :)

We recently bought some paint for the kitchen. Pale Daffodil. I began removing pictures, washing walls and that's where it ends! Haven't done anything else to prep the kitchen for painting.

My glasses broke two weeks ago. I've been back and forth to the eye doctor and yesterday after work we went to pick them up. They're progressive lenses and I'm trying to get used to them. It has not been easy. After the eye doctor, we did some grocery shopping then headed to church for the prayer meeting. By the time we got home it was 9:00 at night! Definitely didn't want to start in on the kitchen then!

I'm just overwhelmed. I know this will pass. Things will get better. The house will come together. Things at work will calm down and everything will become normal again. A new normal, but normal nonetheless.

A Sure Sign of Spring

Diana was sitting at the kitchen table the other day when she hollered at me, "Mom! Come look! Quick!!"

I ran to the dining room to see this:

A mama duck and her chicks walking up our driveway! We think they were coming from our neighbors cause they have a pond in their yard. We don't see this kind of thing every day! So I grabbed the camera and we ran outside. They turned out of our driveway and headed up the street.

Our street is very busy and whenever a car would drive by, they'd head to the fences. Then back on their way. We were so afraid they'd try to cross the street so we followed them a little ways.

Sure enough, that's exactly what they did. Mama headed through a patch of unmowed grass and the little chicks followed her, getting lost in the tall grass. That's when I put down my camera and went out to stop traffic. Diana got behind them and shepherded them across the 3 lane street, Mama was squawking the entire time!

They got to the other side, but couldn't get up the curb! So we carefully helped them, as they'd jump we'd sort of put our hands under them and lift them the rest of the way. Mama was really squawking now!

Safe and sound on the other side of the street, they continued on their journey. To where we don't know cause there's not much around here for wild ducks.

I think she is the same Mama duck who brought last years chicks to our neighbors pond.

Last year.

This year.

If she is, we can't wait til next year!

Bittersweet

There hasn't been a lot to write about lately.

On Saturday we went to a Vintage Market put on by some of the kids in the youth choir from our church. They're raising money for their mission trip to England next month. Beth, Diana and I stopped by but we didn't really buy anything. (Some homemade salsa and banana bread.) They had some really nice stuff: furniture, quilts, baking supplies, plants, homemade greeting cards. I wanted to buy a lot but I didn't have a lot of money to spend and I don't need anymore stuff.

The youth choir sings in our Sunday services this weekend. This will be the last time Beth will sing in the Sanctuary. I think I might have told you that after about 30 years they are disbanding the choir. In the fall there will just be smaller ensembles and I'm guessing you're going to have to sing quite well to be in one. The Psalms are filled with encouraging words to 'make a joyful noise' and that's exactly what Beth does! There are a few parents upset about this change so who knows what will happen in the future. But for now, Sunday is the end. It's going to be a bittersweet day!

(There's one more event in our somewhat small town near the end of July and the choir has been invited to sing there.)

I want to appologize for not having many pictures lately. I've been having severe lower back pain so I stopped carrying my camera everywhere. And my back seems to be getting better. Hmm, imagine that?! :)

It's Not Very Exciting, But She Loves Her Life

Our lives are not very exciting. Beth is an adult. She doesn't go out to play. We no longer meet at school for IEPs, sometimes she's home all day.

Our family is somewhat sedate. I know people who go 24/7. They just never stop. Our neighbors are like that. When they pull into the driveway, he goes out to mow the lawn before he goes into the house. They work from morning to night and when they aren't working, they're traveling.

We're not like that. Chuck and I both work outside the home, then we tend to sit in front of the TV at night. Or we'll sit around the table and play board games. Or we'll sit in front of the computer. Like I'm doing right now. :)

Consequently Beth does the same. She's 27. She has a small apartment in our daylight basement. She eats dinner down there. (We've tried to get her to eat upstairs with us but she gets mad. Last time she shoved the food in so fast she began to choke.) After dinner she watches TV. Or turns off the TV and puts on her head phones. She'll listen to music while she writes.

She goes out a few times a week during the day -

Sunday morning she's at church singing in the youth choir or greeting
Sunday evening she goes to choir rehearsal
Tuesday she's in a bowling league
Wednesday she goes to karoake and art (she's gone for 8-9 hours!)
Friday she attends a job class

Other than that, she's at home. She'll go shopping with us or to the grocery store with us but we don't go out that often. Sometimes I feel guilty that I haven't found some friends for her to hang out with. I feel guilty that we don't take her more places or give her more things to do. But she doesn't seem to mind.

On Monday and Friday I leave her a list of chores and 'paperwork', math and handwriting pages we used when we were homeschooling. I make copies for her and she loves doing them. She'll read or dance or sing. And she's happy.

She loves her life. She's content. At peace. This is her life and in her eyes, it's a pretty great one.

Amazing

I spoke at our MOPS (Mothers Of PreSchoolers) group today. I was so scared but it went really well!

I wrote out word for word what I wanted to say. My topic was 'What is the hardest part about raising a child with special needs?' I practiced saying it over and over.

We have a daylight basement with a great room, then a small bedroom that we've made into a den. (It had been Beth's bedroom but it's kind of dark and way in the back of the house and she didn't like it so now her bedroom furniture is in the great room.) I went into the den numerous times to practice.

Then I typed up just the outline and I practiced that. I gathered some pictures of Beth and our family; at the ocean, climbing trees, Beth as a baby, an adult; just so they could see who I was talking about.

Diana bought me a book in London called Keep Calm for Mums. Its filled with quotes about motherhood. I started off by reading a few of those -

- If you want your children to listen, try talking softly.... to someone else.

- A sweater is a garment worn by a child when the mother is chilly.

- If the kids are still alive when my husband gets home then hey, I've done my job!

- Making the decision to have a child is forever having your heart walk around outside your body.

I talked about how hard it was when Beth was born. The resources were outdated. And there was no texting. If you wanted to call someone you sat down at your kitchen table (because the phone was attached to the wall!) and you talked to them. Or you could get an envelope and a stamp and mail them a letter.

I said things had changed a lot since Beth was born. But one thing that hasn't changed is a question that gets asked of parents of children with special needs. And that question is:

What is the hardest part about raising a child with special needs?

I said the answer could be different for each parent but for me, the hardest part was public reaction. When people stare at Beth when we're walking through the mall. It's human nature to look at someone who is different. If you see someone in a wheel chair I think its natural to glance over at them. But then the majority of us go on about our lives. There are people however that stop walking and truly stare as Beth goes by. I encouraged the moms not to stare, but to make a connection. Introduce themselves, talk about their family member who has special needs. If they see a mom at the park who has a child with special needs, go over to her and say hi. Ask her about her child. Too often parents of children with special needs feel isolated and alone. Make a connection.

I had one mom ask about what to do when their child stares. I told her that she could stop her child right there and talk about the situation. (Don't necessarily stop the person who has special needs, but find a place out of the flow of people and have a discussion.) Why is that boy in a wheelchair? Maybe he got hurt and now his legs don't work. Talk to them at their level so they realize he's just a boy in a wheelchair and there's nothing to be afraid of.

I had a mom who teaches Sunday school ask about what to do when the child definitely has special needs and the other kids in Sunday school are asking about her. The parent isn't there, what to tell the kids? I told her (and I know the Lord was giving me these answers!) she could gather the kids around her and talk about how God has made all of us different. You have brown hair, Jimmy's hair is black. She's tall, he's shorter. Susie likes to sit quietly and read books while Johnny is very active. Don't single out the child with special needs, but talk about how everyone is different.



I could go on and on about the morning, I just want to say how absolutely amazing it was! Oh and after the first session (I spoke the same thing two separate times) a mom came up to me and told me that she has 3 boys. The oldest and youngest both have autism. Neither of them speak. I could tell she was overwhelmed.

After the second session a mom came to me and said she has a son with Down Syndrome and could she talk to me for a minute. She started to break down and said it was nice to talk to someone who had been through it. Afterward she told me he was in the next room, "Do you wanna meet him?" Yes!!!

Too often I feel isolated myself, living in my little world wondering if God can use me at all. Today He showed me that He wants to make a difference in these parents lives and He can do it through me. I came away feeling humbled and blessed beyond measure! I kept thanking Him over and over for what happened today. It truly was amazing.

A Little Nervous

I find I have to write a post before I start reading your blogs. Otherwise I find myself still sitting here hours later and not word is written. I love reading your blogs, hearing about life at your house.


We talked to Beth about the thyroid procedure. I tried to put it in a way that she would understand but I probably shouldn't have said they were going to "kill your thyroid." I explained that she would take some medicine that would kill her thyroid, then she'd have to be quarantined and explained what that meant. We could bring her some dinner but we couldn't use the same bathroom that she used. She wouldn't be able to go to her bowling league or to art class. But it was only for 3 days and then she could go out again and eat with us again and everything would go back to normal.

I asked her if she had any questions.

"No."

Hmmm. I asked if she was sure and she said yes.

I came back upstairs and a couple hours later she came up. She peeked her head around the corner and asked, "Is it gonna hurt?"

I told her I didn't know. I said I didn't think it would hurt but we could ask the doctor when we make the appointment.

A couple days later I was at work and Diana was home. Beth came out to the kitchen and told Diana, "They're gonna kill my thyroid! I don't wanna die!"

Diana assured her she wouldn't die, then I talked with her again when I got home. This time I said the medicine would make her thyroid stop working.

Yea, I think she's a little nervous.