We were at church a few weeks ago when a friend came up to us and whispered to Chuck, "What is your daughter's name again?"
He said hi to Beth and then reminded us that they were in the youth group together. Of course! He's in his mid thirties, he's a guy she grew up with and they had some of the same friends.
He's her peer.
But he's also been married for years, has three children and is a financial officer. His life is very different from Beth's.
The stark differences just... I don't know. It just left me speechless.
I know Beth is different from other people in their 30's but I hadn't really thought about it in a while.
I haven't thought about how far behind Beth is from other people her age in a long time. We're just sort of passed that and we're living our lives day to day just like everyone else.
But after hearing him say they were in youth group together just brought it all back.
And he wasn't being mean at all. He's an a-m-a-z-i-n-g young man, an incredible father and husband. He just stopped to say hi to an old friend.
And I'm finding it hard to describe the lump I have in my throat because of it. Because my oldest daughter isn't like her peers. Not even close.
You know how you watch your kids grow and change and it's not too big of deal, but when you haven't seen your friends kids in a year, it's like, "Oh my gosh they're so tall!" I think if Beth was around typical 30-somethings all the time, it wouldn't be that big of an issue. But she's not and the difference between those two was just huge.
After re-reading this I think maybe I'm grieving again. It hit me - again - that my daughter isn't normal, that she has a diagnosis that changes her life and ours. She won't move out and get married and drive her kids back and forth to school and take vacations with her own family... but even if she does one or two of those things, it won't be the same as when Sharaya and Diana did them.
It'll be much harder and she'll need constant support.
I guess I'm feeling the loss of a 'regular' life for my daughter. Especially after seeing his life and realizing the huge differences between the two.