Toothless Smile, Pampered, and Abandoned

Chuck is watching hockey on TV and as I logged into the blog they reported about the shooting in Allen, Texas. It's the first I've heard of it! Oh Lord, have mercy on the families. 

 

Beth and I were coming home from the grocery store the other day and the radio station was telling it's listeners about seeking the Lord if they feel lonely, or scared, or abandoned. And Beth said, "I don't want to be abandoned."

 

"Beth why do you think you would be abandoned?"

 

"I dunno."

 

"Beth it's okay to tell me. Why do you think we would abandon you?"

 

Well come to find out, she's afraid we'll go on our trip and not come back. But the way she talked, it wasn't that she was afraid we were going to die, just that we'd decide not to come back home! I told her that could never happen! I told her she grew inside me and so she has a part of my heart and I have a part of hers. We could never abandon her!

 

So when we got home I had her get her calendar and I showed her the day we're leaving and the day we're coming home. We talked about what each of her days would look like, the things she'll do, when Sharaya and Ally would be here... I covered everything. (You know, as I'm typing this I'm wondering if she's feeling the loss of Diana and Peter. Diana I know you read this and I don't want you to feel bad! I think maybe she's just grieving you guys, but she doesn't realize it's 'grief'.) Hmm, I may need to have another conversation with Beth about this. 

 

 

On another note, our church held a women's conference this weekend and I got to attend! I worked for days before, even the morning of: meeting with the custodians to make sure the break-out rooms were set up and the correct tables were in the main foyer, and bathrooms were stocked and cleaned... but then I came back for the event and actually felt like a visitor! Women I didn't recognize were asking me my name and how long have I attended Westgate, and I responded like an attendee, not a staff member! It was so much fun! I had lunch with a lady I've known for a while but don't really know. We talked and laughed the whole time! Our husbands have a lot in common so now we're making plans to get together. Honestly, I don't have girlfriends that I hang out with. I'm such an introvert, and a homebody. But the last couple weekends have found me hanging out with other women and I loved it!

 

Getting Ready

 

Photo booth

 

 

Waiting for the doors to open after lunch

They estimate 150 women attended

 

Snacks while we wait

 Now from Seattle, to the east coast... Sharaya and Ally were in New Jersey last week and sent so many pictures of Adelaide!

 

They're pretty sure Adelaide is teething

Diana says shes yelling at her bear

 

And lastly, my two granddaughters. 

There are no words to explain how much I love these two!

Sister Memories, Dressed Up, and Huge Success

 The conference was a huge success, thank you for your prayers! The pastors all commented on the dinner Wednesday night and said they felt spoiled, which is exactly what we wanted. On Friday, the last day of the conference, one of the speakers felt led to pray for people who were drained and needed a fresh touch of the Lord. H-u-n-d-r-e-d-s of people came to the altar and he spent the next two and a half hours anointing those pastors and praying over each one. It was very emotional to watch!

 

Look at that homemade cookie!

 Not much else has been happening around here. Tomorrow, March 21st was my sister Kathy's birthday. She would have been 70, but died just a little over a year ago.

 

I surprised her at Disneyland. 

She had no idea I was coming and it's a moment I will never forget!

Hiking here in WA State. She had come up to visit one summer.

 

Visiting her and Ken in CO

Beth had last week off due to the conference and she was thrilled! She stayed home those two days and told me she sang, and danced, and "moved around." The weather was sunny and in the 60's on Saturday so we went out to the backyard and she helped me clean off the patio. We moved the furniture, scrubbed off the moss, and swept everything. It's so nice now, I just want to sit and stare at it!

 

Diana's been sending us regular updates on the family. She starts back to work (remotely) this week... today in fact! I guess she goes back into the office in a few months. 

 On her first road trip

 

At home on the east coast. All decked out for St. Patrick's Day!

 Sharaya and Ally are planning to visit them in a few weeks and I must say I'm a little jealous! But, everyone in our family is healthy and doing well so I am one happy mom!

Celebration of Life

My niece contacted me the night before the memorial and said Ken, my brother-in-law wanted us to get there early so we did. It was good to be able to give him a hug.

My sister Deb was already there helping to set up tables and chairs and get food ready. I immediately began helping her and everyone pitched in where they could. We talked with Ken's sisters, I hadn't seen them in years. And his aunt, she was hosting it at her house. She's got to be close to 90 but was still spry as ever: in and out the back door, directing people where to put things, I think she has more energy than I do!

More and more people started arriving. Honestly I was surprised at how many people showed up. It had been 3 months since she passed away, I figured it would mainly be family but there were people there from their motorcycle group, friends they met when they spent time at the desert when the kids were little... there were probably 50-60 people there. I was glad they came out to support Ken. I know it meant a lot to him.

I walked around taking pictures and with each new group of people I'd hear him telling the story of how she died. Time after time he'd be tearing up as he told how he heard her come out of the bathroom but she didn't answer when he called to her. By the time he got to the bedroom, she was unresponsive. I think talking about it was therapeutic for him. Like if he said it enough times he might convince himself. 

My niece Karlene came up to me part way through and said she wondered if we should have people share stories. I suggested we go around to each group and let them know we'd be 'saying a few words' in a few minutes and they would have a chance to share if they wanted to.

Ken, my niece, Deb and I all stood in a central area of the backyard and I introduced myself and thanked everyone for coming, and shared a memory of my own. Of Kathy and I going out to Ocean Beach one day, having lunch at the little cafe on the pier and walking along the rocks by the shore.

A lot of people shared stories, some laughed, some cried. My sister was well loved.

After that people began to leave and we took family pictures by her motorcycle and her ashes. It was a hard day, but it was good.

That's Ken in the white beard

 

 

Ken and Karlene

Me, Ken, Deb

Ken, Karlene and Karlene's kids. 

And Ken and Kathy's dog Penny. Her and Ken have been inseparable.

Waves

The last week has been full. A birthday, dentist appointment, card games and pet entertainment.

We all went to Scott's for dinner then came back here to give Chuck his gifts, eat pie and play Skip-Bo. He turned 64 this year and I'm so grateful for him.

 

Diana and Peter brought Poppy over and she ran and played and kept them from sitting for too long. In and out, in and out most of the night. But that's good because it means she's potty trained. 😊 She really is such a good girl!

Beth had a dentist appointment. Just a cleaning, but they said she has a wisdom tooth that has to come out so they're referring us to an oral surgeon. Beth is really good about procedures like this so I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I'll try not to freak out in front of her.

Preparing for x-rays.

 

Mia and Moxie are the best. These sisters will antagonize each other, hide around a corner then attack when the other walks by, they chase each other around the house... so much fun to watch! And they're so curious. About e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

But mostly the week has been about my sister. I was able to talk to my brother-in-law Ken. More like my brother really. He and Kathy met when I was in grade school. 

This is a terrible copy (and I can't find the original) but I was about 8 here. He's really been a part of our family my whole life.

He told me they were in bed and he got up to fix the heater and she got up to use the bathroom. He heard her go back to bed so he was talking to her about the heater and she wasn't answering him. When he got to the bedroom... she was unresponsive. It was that quick. 

She had some health issues I wasn't aware of so I'm curious to see what they put as the 'cause of death' on the death certificate.

The waves of grief are coming less now. I was doing okay yesterday and when I got in the shower I sobbed. Couldn't stop it. So I didn't.

Thank you all for your kind words. It was very healing to read all your comments. I'll get back to reading and commenting on your blogs soon. I hope you're doing well.

Grandparents, It Hit Me Like a Wave, and a Purposeful Re-creation?

We were texting Diana the other day about wedding plans and she said something about riding with Peter's grandparents and right there in the middle of our office area, I began to cry. The grief came over me like a giant wave as I realized - again - that my girls no longer have grandparents.

My dad died in 2019 and Chuck's mom, the last of their grandparents, just died in February. 

It hit me hard and I let the tears flow.

I've had this picture hanging in the living room for many years. It's one of those iconic photos that are a part of your family. It's my dad at around 3 years old, sitting on the hood of their car.

I've seen this next picture a hundred times but never really thought about it. A few months ago I came across it again and it hit me! Was my dad purposefully re-creating his photo? This is me around 2 years old, sitting on the hood of our car.

All these years and I never made the connection!

I've re-created photos:

Me and my sisters

Our girls

Sharaya getting ready to ride on my dads motorcycle

Allison standing next to my dads motorcycle

And my girls have re-created photos - many photos! Here's one:

But to think my dad did it way back in the early 1960's, just makes me miss him even more.

Do you have a family photo that means a lot to you?

Have you ever re-created a picture?