Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Two Young Adults

All morning at work I thought about Beth's Connection Card, and her and Nick being at home by themselves. I planned to leave work early so that they'd only be here for maybe 30 minutes before I got home.

My mind went to places it shouldn't have gone, imagining the worst that could happen, why do I do that?! Am I the only one?

Anyway, as the day wore on I began to think about the two of them, their personalities, things they're apt to do or not to do and how more than likely they wouldn't do anything to get themselves into trouble, maybe a little first base, possibly second base but nothing more. I began to relax and ended up working my regular hours.

I texted them both not long after they got to the house and told them, "I'll be there soon" (even though I wasn't coming for a while) so they would be expecting me to walk in any minute.

(I'm going to tell the details here. Only to show our lives, to tell our story. And if you have a child with Down Syndrome maybe you've already been through this, or maybe your child is still young and you're wondering what you can expect when they get older. I also want to say, every person who has Down Syndrome is very different from other people who have Ds and your child may not go through this. I'm only sharing my story.)

(And please don't judge these two. They're just young adults trying to figure out their way in the world.)

When I got home I went downstairs to let them know I was home. They were sitting in kitchen chairs but were very close to each other and Nick had his phone up like he had been filming something. Beth put her hand by her eyes, something she does when she doesn't want to be seen and Nick just stared at me like a deer in headlights.  They said they had a good time bowling but offered no other info. It made me very curious about what they were up to so I went back upstairs and fixed some tea. A few minutes later I stood at the top of the stairs, just listening.

I heard Nick say, "Show me your moves!" and I could hear Beth move her chair  After just a few seconds he said, "That's it?" and Beth responded, "Uh huh."

Then he told her to get on the bed and show him her moves. "Get on the bed, Beth." That's when I headed down. Beth was out of her chair and beginning to take her sweater off. She is so timid and basically does anything she's asked. Dangerous or not. She just doesn't seem to be able to defend herself.

And Nick is just the opposite. He's very controlling and insists everything go his way. For instance, our church serves dinner on Tuesday nights and last night they were having Swedish Meatballs. That's Beth's absolute favorite meal! They got their food and drinks and I joined them a few minutes later. I saw that Nick had chicken and rice and Beth had... chicken and rice? "Beth, you didn't get meatballs? I'm surprised!" She just hung her head and Nick picked up his phone and began scrolling. Sigh...

I'm thankful he was able to ride the bus with her yesterday and that they got to hang out for a while but I learned they can't be left alone for too long.

Beth adores him and loves having him as a boyfriend but isn't ready to get married anytime soon. They love dating and being together so we'll continue to just take one day at a time.


Addie Talley, Photographer said...

thank you for this. I am finding it so hard to find any information on how older kids (is that the right word, I don't know?) act. My son with ds is 13 and very much turning into a teenager with mood swings and everything - and he has also discovered himself and we often have to remind him not to touch himself in front of people. So its nice to see things like this so I have an idea of what is coming or maybe what to expect. Thank you for sharing!

Preppy Empty Nester said...

You and I are so much alike. My mind always goes to the worst place. I am such a worrier. My girls live out of state and if I don't talk to them or text at least once a day I have an anxiety attack. I think Beth and her Beau sound so adorable. Interesting to see their couple dynamic with such opposite personalities. Beth is so lucky to have you as a Mom. Enjoy your week.

bj said...

I so agree with PEPPY EMPTY NESTER that Beth is not only lucky to have you as her mom but very blessed, as well. I know you can't watch them ALL the time but helping to guide her and her sweetheart is a mighty big job...loving her, guiding her and doing a lot of praying most likely will get her thru any red flags.....being a parent is, by far, the most important job we will ever have...

Rebecca Jo said...

Yep... I worry about every little thing & think the worst as well - so dont worry there. That's just mom brain ;)
I'm sure you've talked to Nick's parents about the situation with them - have they discussed with him the limits they should have as a dating couple?
You need to get one of those security cameras so watch from your phone when you're not home - if anything, get a fake one to make them think you're watching ;) haha
& bless Beth's heart. Praying she finds a little bit of inner strength to tell Nick - or anyone - when she wants something or doesnt want something - Meatballs being on the top of the list ;)