Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Unemployment Has Lead To Fear And Poor Choices

We came home the other day to find out that Beth had stolen from us. We keep loose change around the house, just like every other person in America and I could tell she had taken some money out of the jar.

She may be sneaky but she hasn't learned to cover her tracks.

We sat her down and asked her why she did it. When she didn't say anything I asked her if she took money from the jar and she nodded yes. So I asked her again why she took it and she said she didn't know. That's what she tells us when she doesn't want to tell the truth. "I dunno." 

We told her that it was stealing and if she did that at the store she'd go to jail. We told her that if she needed some money that all she had to do was ask. We'd gladly give her some money but she was to never steal from us again. (She knows all this. We were really kind of stunned.)

She sat there without saying a word so we had her bring her wallet up and we took back all our money. All the while telling her how wrong it was.  

She quietly got up, picked up her wallet, and about the time she got to the bottom of the stairs, she burst into tears and yelled something about chores. She slammed her door and we could hear her crying all the way upstairs.

Chuck and I talked about it and realized that now that she's not working, she doesn't have the same amount of money at her disposal that she used to. I mean, we knew that but it just didn't register with us. And the thing about the chores, I sometimes leave her some ones or a five, as a thank you for helping around the house and I hadn't done that in a while because she's had more than enough money to do what she's wanted. 

So that's something I need to start doing again. Of course I didn't want to reward her for stealing so I waited a week or so, then left her some cash for helping us with the chores.  I've asked her job coach if she's heard anything about the interview at MOD, but she hasn't yet.

Beth is fine now but we're trying to make sure she always has a few bucks in her pocket. 

I've also re-hidden the money jar.


Rebecca Jo said...

Oh man... such a hard situation.
You feel bad for her in this situation but yep, she needs to know stealing is never the answer. I hope she's come out of it understanding there's better ways to go about it.
Praying for her a new job that will make her feel like she's earning a good wage soon.
Bless your momma's heart - I know that had to be a tough day for you all.

bj said...

Bless her heart...and yours, too.
Hopefully she has learned her lesson and with you adding a little money for chores, that should lessen her money problem stress.Hoping Modd calls and gives her a job

Meredith said...

Aww I am still so sad that Beth's can't work at her Little Caesar's job. She did so well there! Have you guys ever spoken with the folks at Red Robin? It sounds like that's a local spot that's been welcoming to Beth and Nick (as a family we have places where I just get great vibes when I take my daughter with DS along). Do you have a World Market anywhere near you or a Whole Foods? Both of our local stores employ adults with I/DD, DS in particular at Whole Foods bakery. So sorry you guys are in this boat and it should not be your job to find a new placement for Beth. Just wishing I could be of some help!

Billie Jo said...

Bless your soul!
You are an amazing and understanding parent.
And bless her soul too!
I will be praying for a job that enables Beth to make her own money as well as feel a sense of pride and independence. : )

ellen b said...

Oh boy, parenting is hard. You are doing a good job. Glad things are resolved and I do hope she gets a good job soon.

Barb said...

Hi Cindy~

Poor Beth, that's a hard lesson to learn. Actions and consequences, kind of what life is all about. I hope she finds work soon, I will keep her in my prayers. I guess she's really no different than anyone else who loses a job, and realizes quickly that the money is no longer there - some hard lessons for a very sweet girl. Hugs to her.

Hugs and Love,

Preppy Empty Nester said...

Awwww.... it’s so tough being a parent isn’t it? You are such a wonderful Mom. I love to hear your sweet Beth stories. Enjoy your weekend!