Pretty Darn Close

School bag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, 

waving good-bye with an absentminded smile.

I watch her go 

with a surge of that well known sadness 

and I have to sit down for a while. 

(Sharaya) 

The feeling that I'm losing her forever

and without really entering her world.

I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter

that funny little girl.

(Diana)

Slippin' through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

the feeling in it

slippin' through my fingers all the time.

Do I really know what's on her mind?

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

she keeps on growing

slippin' through my fingers all the time.
 
 (Sharaya)

Sleep in her eyes

her and me at the breakfast table

barely awake

I let precious time go by.

Then when she's gone 

there's that ol' meloncholy feeling

and the sense of guilt I can't deny.

(Diana)

What happened to those wonderful adventures?

The places I had planned for us to go?

Well, some of that we did

but most we didn't

and why I just don't know.

(Sharaya) 

 (Diana)

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture

and save it from the funny tricks of time,

slippin' through my fingers... 

This song is by Abba and is in Mamma Mia, a movie created around their music. I watched this again the other night and found myself crying (visualize: ugly cry) thinking of my two youngest girls. 

I don't know how many of you have children, but parenting is hard work. When they're small you're in the throws of potty training, packing lunches for school, doctor's appointments, signing permission slips, sleepless nights, volunteering in the classroom, helping with homework, teaching them how to take showers, clip their fingernails, chew with their mouths closed, how to behave in a restaurant... it's a constant blur of life.

And somewhere in there you plan birthday parties and vacations and music lessons and sleep overs. Then, before you know it they're grown up and everything stops. They're on their own and you stand back and watch them live their lives from afar.

I know I see Sharaya pretty often, sometimes a few times a week, but it's not the same as when she was living at home. And Diana, I've only seen her three times in the last 18 months. It's not a bad thing really. It's exactly what's supposed to happen, your kids grow up, move out and begin their own lives. The circle of life as they say.

So I started bawling when I heard this song again. It's hard to describe the feeling you have when your kids grow up and move away, but Slippin' Through My Fingers gets pretty darn close.