Wednesday, October 30, 2013

She's Taking A Stand

I had a post planned for today but instead I spent the day with Sharaya. We moved Ryan from one shelter to another. He has continued to lie to her and steal from her to buy drugs so she told him to leave.

Tonight he's in a homeless shelter and he's terrified. Of course he called Sharaya and blamed her for it.

The only man she's ever loved has been mentally and emotionally abusive to her and she's taking a stand.

And she's hurting.

Lots of anger today.

Lots of tears.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

She's strong... this is what he needs-- take it from me. My dad was addicted to drugs and he ONLY changed when my mom kicked him out. My mother refused to let him come back until he was clean/sober. 10 years later, he now has 2 AA's, a Bachelor AND Master's degree in chemical dependency. This from a man who only had his GED and never held down a steady job. I feel badly for your girl and your family...but this is what he needs- a swift kick into reality. It is not fair to her and for him to continue depending on her and lying to her will probably only lead to worse and possibly codependency on her part. <3 Stay strong!

Anonymous said...

Oh another thing- my father ALWAYS blamed my mother for everything- for the fact he no longer had a stable home, etc. Addiction makes people SELFISH and irrational. This is a common trait for addicts- as well as denial of even having a problem. I would suggest her telling him if he is going to call her to play the blame game, she will block him. It's very very difficult to do this, but you have to draw a line otherwise you continue to enable him and he continues getting a reaction- he may believe he can "break" her down enough to have her allow him back home. He HAS to understand she is totally serious about this addiction not going on any further. =( I suggest she goes to Al-Anon (free) or counseling.... you guys are in my thoughts!

Caz said...

So so hard to do, and so the right and only thing to do. Addiction is horrible, but still, within that, he's making choices that are hurting her and others, and Sharaya needs to protect herself and Allison.
Take care of yourself Cindy, this must be unbelievably tough on you, too.

Jenny said...

My heart breaks for her. Tell her to stay strong. Sometimes the only way to help a person like Ryan is to let them go...To let them hit rock bottom so they want to help themselves. The only thing she needs to worry about and focus on right now is herself and her little girl...And it sounds like that is what she is doing because she was already brave enough to take a stand.
Praying for your family to pull through this tough time.

Stephanie said...

I'm sorry that she is going through this. I know it's extremely hard, but I hope she stays strong. She's too important and so is her daughter and that's who she has to protect. Lots of prayers for Sharaya and the whole family!

Meg said...

So sorry for Sharaya and Allison and for Ryan as well. Addiction is a terrible disease but at some point she has to let him go. Glad she has the support of your family, it surely makes it a little easier for her to be strong.

Nan said...

Thinking of you all. It is so hard to let go of thinking that if you just {fill in the blank} they might change. Addiction is a disease. That needs treatment. I can only humbly offer that AlAnon has been and continues to be a great support to those who live with and/or love an addict. I am so glad Sharaya has you as her family! Praying.

Anna Theurer said...

This has got to be so tough on Sharaya and little miss. I am glad she is taking a stand. I know that it wasn't easy and nor will it continue to be. Nothing of this is her fault. Ryan has a problem and part of the disease is laying the blame at other people'ss feet. My heart hurts for Sharaya. Sending prayers your way.

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. I can only imagine how tough this must be as her mother to watch what has been and is happening. She is already showing how strong she is being my making him leave and go to a shelter; I'm sure that wasn't easy for her to do at all and she probably doesn't feel strong, but she is. I'm glad she has her family around to help her through this difficult time. Praying for all of you, and for Ryan, that he finds it in himself to get the help he needs to make positive changes and adjustments in his life.

Jody Lynn said...

sending smiles your way - best to you all for a good outcome.

Kristin said...

Heartbreaking. Prayers!!