Saturday, January 8, 2011

Why Do I Always Feel So Guilty?

Beth spends most of her time at her apartment. (Our daylight basement.) Her bedroom is down there, her livingroom, kitchenette, etc. So when she comes upstairs and just hangs out, I feel the need to hang with her.

I've been working upstairs, cleaning, doing laundry and about the time I sit at the computer or turn on the TV, that's when she appears and sits at the table. I've tried sitting there with her but she doesn't talk. We sit and listen to each other breathe.

I try to ask questions, "How did you sleep last night?" "Did you have a good day at work?" "What happened at bowling?" I usually get one word answers, "Fine." "Yea'. "Nothin'".

So we sit. And we breathe.

Today I didn't. She sat at the table and I continued watching the Seahawks. And I felt SO guilty! My daughter wants to spend time with me, wants to maybe say something and I'm just sitting here! But I had been cleaning all morning and was sitting down for some lunch. She eventually got on the computer, but that guilt! It's pretty powerful stuff!


Leah Spring said...

Hmmmm...What about a set of cards with topics on them? Something that is as open-ended as possible. What about asking her to help you get stuff ready for dinner, or something else she can help YOU with? Take out a catalog and look for new curtains together. (totally grasping at straws here, but it might help you think of other ideas that will work for the two of you. LOL) Plan next weeks family meal menu together. Have some craft stuff around that she can work with at your table, and something you might enjoy too? They don't have to be the same thing, just things you can do along side each other. ! Play a board game, or card game, or "connect 4" or something. Sometimes it is really hard to think of ideas. I'm in the same rut with Angela right now. I think I'll use some of my ideas! LOL

Runningmama said...

I wanted to say I enjoy your blog, I love seeing older girls (well, older than my 19 month old that is) living their lives with their families. I say give yourself a break, try not to feel guilty, if she were living in an apartment that were not in your home, you would probably go a while without talking so I think it's more normal than not. And, I think she probably knows that if she needed to talk to you, you would be there in a heartbeat listening whole heartedly.