Looking Back

Beth likes to know what's coming. She wants time to prepare for the transition to the next thing. You can't really 'spring something on her'. She gets flustered and ends up moving incredibly slow. Why, I'm not sure. Maybe so that whatever is coming, won't come until she's ready.

This is something we learned too late in Beth's life. Too many 'next things' without enough preparation. Too many transitions without enough explanations. Looking back now I wonder how we never noticed it. One of those things that make you wonder what kind of parent you really are. What kind of parent wouldn't notice that their child freaks out when such and such happens??

But we can't keep kicking ourselves. At some point you have to get back up, dust yourself off, ask for forgiveness from your child and from the Lord, and then move forward.

That's where I am. Trying to move forward. Trying to right some of the wrongs. Not that the wrongs were anything CPS would be interested in, but just parenting fails. Yelled when you should have hugged. Hurried when you should have been more patient. Ignored when you should have invested more time.

But it's never too late to move forward. Never too late to right the wrongs. I'm trying. As I continue to parent my 28 year old, I'm still learning from the past. Still learning from my mistakes. And I'm moving forward.