If I Could Go Back and Do It Again

Can't believe it's been almost a week since I've posted. It seems as we get older, our lives are getting busier. That's not how it's supposed to happen, is it?

There was an article that went around a few months ago, written by an adult with Down Syndrome and one of the things he talked about was sitting at the kitchen table and being left out of the conversation because everyone was speaking so fast. He said that he knew he was being left out. He wanted the rest of us to know it too. Unfortunately I can't remember his name (my memory, ugh) but that article had a deep impact on me. I think about it almost daily.

One thing I've started doing as a result of reading that article is talking slower around Beth. I don't slow down so much to seem obnoxious but  just  enough  for  her  to  be  able  to  process  the  words  before  I  move  on  to  the  next  thing.

I don't think others notice when I'm doing it. I try not to be one of those people who talk really loud and up close to someone who is hard of hearing, I  just  slow  my  speech  slightly  and  I  can  see  her  processing  the  words  as  I  say  them.  She  doesn't  ask  me  to  repeat  things  as  often  and  I  find  myself  wishing  everyone  spoke  to  her  this  way.

It's  been  quite  an  adjustment  but  it's  been  amazing  to  watch  the  change  in  her.  She's  more  willing  to  talk  and  is  definitely  more  willing  to  listen.

If  I  could  go  back  about  10  years,  I  would  have  started  talking  to  Beth  like  this  right  about  the  time  she  graduated  from  high  school.  As  a  kid,  Beth  was  active  and  silly  and  as  busy  as  my  other  kids.  But  as  an  adult,  she  has  become  slower,  quieter,  and  more  calm.  Not  sure  that's  what  happens  to  all  adults  who  have  Down  Syndrome,  but  that's  what  happened  to  her.  Unfortunately,  I  didn't  slow  down.  I  kept  thinking  fast,  and  talking  fast.  And  I  would  get  frustrated  when  she  didn't  keep  up.  But  I'm  trying  to  change.  I'm  trying  to  slow  down  a  little.  Trying  to  keep  her  included  in  the  conversation.

It Came!

The Down Syndrome Awareness magnet arrived yesterday! I also got a keychain. I'm so excited! I mean, I am really excited about this!

It's kinda funny though because I didn't use to be excited about Down Syndrome. When Beth was about 4 or 5, (we were here in Washington so she had to be at least 4) Chuck and I went to a support group. I don't remember if it was an 'official' Ds support group or just some families getting together. But I remember the only thing they talked about was special needs. Therapy, para educators, doctors, treatments, etc.

On the way home Chuck and I talked about how we felt like we were drowning. Beth joined our lives already in progress, we didn't join hers. Our family is into sports and photography and traveling, but none of that was talked about. We didn't really get to know these other families, just mainly vented about how difficult it was to raise a child with special needs. Maybe we didn't give it a chance.

But we never went back.

Now don't get me wrong, we spent many hours with Beth working with her speech, potty training her, going to IEP meetings. In fact, our girls have felt that we often neglected them because we spent so much time with Beth. I feel horrible that they have those memories and feelings about childhood. Parenting isn't easy!

Beth joined our family. She became a part of us. Having Down Syndrome had an effect on our family, as it should but I don't think we spent her growing up years saturated in the world of special needs.

But now....

Now it's almost all I think about. Now that the girls are grown, I am wanting to make a difference in the lives of families who have children with special needs. The best place for me to start is at our church.

We have our Special Connections Sunday school class and I'm constantly thinking about ways to improve it. Equipment we can add, sensory toys we could purchase. We recently moved into a bigger, better room. We now have our own bathroom. A huge deal! We have direct access to the outside playground. I've been looking at calming lights and tents for quiet time. We have some carpeted stairs to help the kids with their gross motor skills.

I want to get the young adults who have special needs involved in youth activities. I want to encourage the youth of our church to get involved with the young adults with special needs. It can only improve the relationships between the two groups and show that living life with special needs is more normal than they think!

I have so many ideas!!! But I'm not sure where to start. At times it seems so overwhelming; when I see the big picture it makes me want to run away! We've been attending Westgate for almost 23 years and I've never had this desire before. I know it's the Lord putting this in my heart.

Deep down, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.