You ever have one of those nights where you wake up very early and you just lay in bed thinking about life? Happens to me fairly often but I had an interesting one a couple months ago. It was a Thursday morning. Grocery Shopping Day.
I was thinking about Beth and the choices she makes while shopping. I thought about how it all seemed to start when we bought her a refrigerator, and some kitchen cabinets and a microwave. And we gave her the authority to start buying her own food.
And I thought about all the times, the years I've spent trying to advise her on what foods to buy, what foods are healthy and which foods are not. All the times I've coached her, encouraged her, got angry at her, educated her. And how tired I was of doing it. And how tired she was of hearing it.
There comes a time in your adult child's life where you have to take your hands off and allow them to make choices. Whether they're good choices or bad choices. Even choices that are different from what you would make in that situation. At some point you have to step back, and let your adult kids be adults. As hard as it might be.
And as I laid in bed early that morning, I believe the Lord dropped an idea into my mind. An idea that might help Beth make better choices.
When we're kids we want the cookies and cake and ice cream and sugar. And we beg mom and dad to buy it for us. But as adults we realize those aren't healthy and we need to limit how much we eat of that stuff.
I realized I've been trying to force Beth to shop like an adult.
And we can't force anyone to do anything. Oh we can advise and encourage and educate, but we can't force. Not in a healthy relationship anyway. And shopping was becoming stressful for both of us.
So I apologized to her. Said I was sorry for trying to force her to buy certain foods. And I told her she's the only one who can choose what she's going to buy.
And a few times since then, as we're walking into the store, I remind both of us that it's that time again where we need to decide if we're going to shop like a kid or an adult.
And you know what? She's slowly making changes. And our grocery shopping is becoming much more fun!
6 comments:
Well done!! Both of you!! God is always there for us if we just listen. Keep us posted, but it sounds like you are both on a better path. xo
Yes, I do that often at night. Wish I could turn my mind off. That is great news about her starting to make better choices.
Good for Beth!!! So glad she's catching on to eating more healthy. I know that's a hard journey for me because I really love sweets and snacks and carbs! lol
I think there's growth in both of you... I know it's so hard to let your kids make their own decisions when you want the best for them... that's so good of you to hand more control to Beth & its awesome she's picking that up & making better choices. & Confession - half my groceries arent healthy either HEHE!
Great job to the both of you.
I remember that this has been an ongoing worry for you. And stressor. So glad that by just reminding Beth to shop and make choices like the adult she is has made a positive difference. Wonderful!! I have those sleepless nights of worry about once or twice a month and feel miserable the next day. Hope you can set this worry aside for now and sleep better. You have done a wonderful job with Beth!!
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