World Down Syndrome Day - Answering Your Questions

Thank you for your comments on my last post. I'm happy to answer your questions. Leslie from Once Upon a Time and Happily Ever After asked "How and when did you learn Beth had Down Syndrome?"

We didn't find out until after she was born.

She is our oldest, born in 1984. Chuck was 26, I was 23 and I had a very normal pregnancy. Had a lot of morning sickness the first three months, but the last six were truly amazing. I loved being pregnant. Seriously. I continued working, only gained about twenty pounds, and I felt really good. 

I always thought when your water broke you would know without a doubt when it happened. But mine wasn't like that. I had a tiny discharge, just a couple tiny drops that looked like urine. That went on throughout the day so the next day I decided to call my doctor and he had me come in to check. When they tested they found it was my water, and because it had been more than 24 hours they scheduled an emergency c-section. My doctor was not at the hospital so the doctor-on-call performed the surgery.

I was terrified. This was not at all how I planned for it go. Even after 40 years I can still see the rhythm of the ceiling lights as they wheeled me into the operating room. I was shaking like a leaf! They gave me a local spinal block anesthesia and after that was in place, Chuck was allowed in the room. He also got to be in there during the surgery! I don't think that would happen today! I was so relieved he was there though. Thankfully everything went well. 

I was in and out throughout the surgery but I still remember him holding Beth and showing her to me. She was so beautiful! Then I was out again. I hadn't noticed. Neither had Chuck.

When they went back to weigh her and get her vitals, the doctor-on-call bluntly asked Chuck, "Did you know your baby has Down Syndrome?" He was shocked. At both the news and the way it was delivered. Chuck asked them not to tell me until he came in the next morning.

My whole family had come to the hospital that night and got to see her through the window in the nursery. None of them noticed.

My mom and Chuck went out for coffee, even though it was after midnight by then, and Chuck didn't tell her. He wanted to wait until I knew before he told anyone else. I married a good man! 

Early the next morning, before I had seen Beth my regular doctor came in, sat on the edge of my bed and said, "Your baby is showing signs of Down Syndrome. We're going to do some tests to be sure and we'll let you know when we get the results." He said something about chromosomes and therapists and case workers but I wasn't really listening. I burst into tears and said I wanted to call my husband. Obviously my doctor didn't get the word about waiting.

I was still crying when I called him and he instantly knew. As soon as he came into my room he pulled up a chair next to the bed, took my hand and asked, "We can still love her can't we?"

Oh my gosh, yes!! I want her too! They brought her into my room and we instantly fell in love.

Please don't judge me by the way I'm holding her. I was a new mom and had no idea what I was doing. Now when I look at this picture I have an overwhelming desire to pull her closer.

We called all our family and asked them to come to the hospital. I was holding Beth when we told them. I remember them asking a lot of questions but at that point we didn't know anything! Will she be able to walk? Will she be able to go to school? We had no idea. We had no family history of DS and didn't even know anyone with DS. And then they all asked to hold her. And each one fell in love with her too.

A funny story - our families were in and out of my room all hours of the day. Beth was always with me, they held her, and we loved on her. Then on day three my dad came and I was told they couldn't bring Beth in because it wasn't visiting hours. Huh? Then we learned my doctor wanted to see how we would treat Beth, will we put her in a corner and figure out what to do with her? When he saw just how much we loved her he knew she would be okay and he reinstated the visiting hours. My doctor was older, like a grandfather figure. He truly only wanted the best for us. 

These pictures are very bad quality - this was back when we used film and you had no idea how good the picture was until you had them printed. But I hope you can see the love from my parents and sisters.

So we took her home and loved her.

We dedicated her to the Lord. 

She learned to walk and talk...

And run!

And she started taking the bus to school when she was 2 years old.

Like I've said before, this isn't a journey we chose but we wouldn't be who we are without Beth. The Lord has used her to shape each of us individually into the people He needs us to be. As well as our shaping our family unit. 

March 21 might be World Down Syndrome Day, but Down Syndrome has a part in our family every day.

I'll answer more of your questions in the days to come!